love hina: deadpool chronicles
by punkkid2332
Summary: has returned! total revamp, effort has been made now. keitaro meets deadpool and gets into trouble. go ahead and read it, not like your gonna review the damn thing.
1. Chapter 1

Love hina: dead pool chronicles revamp

Ah yes, this is going to be a trial run. I'm revamping the whole first chapter of this thing and I'm going to see if you people like it or not. If you don't I don't give two craps and ill forget this and love hina even existed. Ill go back to doing my other fics and ill let this one disappear from the face of the earth. Why am I doing this? Because someone reviewed my message I left in the previous post i made told me not to give up. So I'm going to make a new chapter and I'm going to laugh if someone tells me its shit. Of course none of this crap is owned by me at all, if it were I would be suing all of you people for what you are worth and then I would laugh! Oh I would laugh…..here it goes. This time I'm going to put forth effort that you people probably haven't seen me put forth before.

* * *

"IM LATE!". 

Urashima Keitaro burst out of bed as he realized that he was indeed late for the prep test to get into Tokyo U. He had failed this one test more than he could count, but this time he felt different about it. Grabbing the any clothing that laid near him, he threw those on and without thinking popped his head up through the hole that lead to his promise girl's room. Only then, after seeing her topless and braless was when he realized his mistake. Her eyes went down slowly towards the hole, her petite hand now curled up into a fist.

"NNNARU!! WAIT!!".

"PERVERT!".

Sending a kick at his head, her foot connected underneath his chin and lifted him high. Through the sealing he went, up towards the heavens and down towards a little park outside of town. At that moment, another unfortunate turn of events sent the manager of the Hinata into another human being. Skidding across the grass and coming to a stop just inches away from a tree, Keitaro recoverd quickly and got up, running to make sure the other person was alright. He stopped a few feet away from the dazed man, looking at what the man had strapped to him he stared in shock. Removing his glasses, Keitaro rubbed them clean with his shirt and put them back on before realizing that his eyes were not playing tricks at all. Guns, automatic sub-machine guns and handguns were strapped to him. Two swords, most likely katana's were strapped this man's back. Grenades, both explosive and flash bangs dangled loosely on him also. His suit reminded Keitaro of a ninja movie he once saw. Black and read, two holes in the mask so the man could see. After staring for what seemed hours, keitaro heard a voice speak to him.

"….what the hell was that?…..feels like a train ran over my spine".

Stepping back in shock, keitaro watched as the man got up. He was tall, taller than Motoko, even taller than seta. A questionable gaze appeared on the mans face as he glanced around, trying to get his sense of direction back.

"gotta be kidding me….last time I believe that asshole….telling me to do a sweep on foot……what a bag of sh-".

He stopped when his eyes fell on keitaro, his frown turned slowly upside-down . He then pointed a finger at the third year ronin and asked him some questions.

"sooooo…..where am I".

"Japan".

"great! That is fricken fantastic…….glad I picked up that Japanese language course at the YMCA when i was a cub scout in the marine core…..how the hell did you knock me down anyways".

Keitaro looked at him, his eyes got serious as he stepped forward and pointed where he flew from.

"a girl kicked me here…I live three miles that way".

"DAMN!!! Is she taking steroids or something!? She got the roid rage and kicked ya in the teeth right? I had a girlfriend like that…name was betty…….I called her butch".

A snicker came out of keitaro's mouth as he thought about calling naru butch, but that would get him kicked back to this remote park again. The man looked at him as Keitaro asked him a simple question, to which he responded quickly.

"so whats your name by the way?".

"I usually go by three names, bucky the backstabbing bastard, Kenny McCracken…but my friends call me deadpool. What do they call you around these parts?".

"I'm Keitaro Urashima".

"well kei-man, I'm getting the munchies for some cheezy's and beef jerky…..".

Keitaro motioned for him to follow, he finally had a friend that was like shirai or haitani. Bringing him out through the entrance of the park and onto the street, where they were both met with shock from pedestrians as the two walked down to a local corner store. The door ringed as the two stepped in, Keitaro walked over to a soda dispenser as deadpool walked over to another aisle. Grabbing beef jerky, cheese puffs, duct tape, canned squirt cheese, a package of stickers, a quart of motor oil and a package containing one light bulb, deadpool's shopping was done. But something stopped him…and that something was a tee-shirt. But this was no ordinary tee-shirt, oh no, this was a chuck Norris tee-shirt that had a picture of the man and letters that stated "chuck Norris owns your soul until you die and burn in the seventh layer of hell…even then he still owns it". Almost dropping all his supplies, Deadpool snagged that tee-shirt and threw it on the counter. The clerk went over his stuff as keitaro stood next to the merc, drinking a slurpie.

"that will be….fifteen ninety two".

Deadpool patted himself down in search of money, before grabbing one of his many flash bang grenades. He calmly set down the grenade and put his hands over his eyes, keitaro caught the hand signal and did the same. Deadpool pulled the pin and rolled the device off onto the floor where the clerk was standing. Deadpool then Squeezed his eyes tight, a loud bang that was immediately followed by a bright light erupted inside the store.

"what happened!!!".

"NO TIME TO EXSPLAIN KEI-MAN!! WE GOTTA ROLL!!!".

Grabbing his stuff and keitaro, Deadpool hawled ass out of the store, leaving a blind and hearing impaired clerk screaming in pain on the floor. Ducking into a alleyway nearby, Deadpool took off his weapons, put the chuck Norris shirt on, then finally put his weapons back into place. Taking the duct tape, the merc began to make duct tape gloves with both hands.

"I don't believe you did that!!!".

"did what?".

"use one of those exsplosive things! You could of hurt someone!".

"I only hurt the guy for a few seconds, its not like I broke every finger…..wait…man that was a good one. anyways i didnt hurt him physically...probably emotionally".

He sighed, why couldn't he get these awesome idea's like breaking someones fingers when he had the chance to do them. Opening the squirt cheese, Deadpool squirted it into his mouth while watching Keitaro pace like a cornered lion.

"calm down!!!….if you stay calm ill make you a duct tape wallet".

"I don't need one! You could of really hurt that guy!".

"whatever, your not cool enough for a duct tape wallet anyways….its only for the popular kids….like on Dawson's creek".

The merc stopped and sighed again while thinking about Dawson's creek, he missed that show so much. Finally finishing his tape gloves, which looked more like boxing gloves, Deadpool smiled at his accomplishment. Eating the beef jerky and cheese puffs in a few bites, Deadpool opened the light bulb package and threw it against the wall across from him, shattering it.

"why did you take that".

"do what?".

"break that lightbulb".

"kei-man, why is the world flat? why is the sun so god damn bright that it burns when you look at it for too long, why did Jesus have such kickass hair?….we may never know".

Looking down into the alleyway, keitaro knew that they were almost at the Hinata apartments.

"well its getting late, you wanna crash at my place?".

"sure! Do you have bumper cars?".

"no…".

"…..play doh?".

"….yeah I think we have that".

"sweet, I'm in…quick question though, does everyone in japan sing karaoke?".

"not really, It depends on the person".

"oh, yeah cause I've been hearing this damn van halen song play in my head for like ten years…..".

Keitaro stared at him, van halen was a band that keitaro loved to listen to for some reason.

"……maybe we can both do a van halen song".

"……….my god….that is the single most best idea ive ever heard….way better than going to the mall and head butting small children……….actually it almost beats head butting children, cause I loath children….I hate them so!!".

The two began walking up the steps of the Hinata apartments, this was the start to a good friendship.

* * *

So what do you freaks think? I think I did a alright job on it. Of course since im still pissed about a certain review I got on my last Deadpool fic don't expect me to update anytime soon. Have fun with this you crazy eyed bastards……. 


	2. Chapter 2

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Yes, it is I once again. Thought you were rid of me didn't you? Well no, since I now have a undying passion of hatred for that one review last time, I decided what the hell, I'm going to put as many chapters into this damn story as humanly possible. So many chapters! And by the time I'm done with this crap, you will want to stick hot needles into your eyes and ears to get rid of the pain!!. I will then proceed to incur so much pain into your life that you will want to die in the most sickly evil way possible……enjoy the show!

Chapter 2: interview with the madman….

Walking up the steps to the Hinata wasn't that hard for deadpool or keitaro, the two seemed to be used to the strenuous activity of walking a couple of miles. All the way, keitaro noticed some odd about his new friend. He was mumbling to himself about the situation….

"I'm getting this déjà vu feeling….like I was doing this before…man this is some weird shit……maybe I need to see a doctor".

"about what?".

"well kei-man, you ever get this feeling someone's watching you? Like when your looking at a book or talking to that psycho chick who kicked your teeth in?".

"now that you mention it….".

"well, its cause there are people watching…look!".

Putting a hand on the third year ronin's arm, Deadpool pointed to the woods next to him. He knew someone was watching their every move. But all Keitaro saw were tree's and bushes, nothing more.

"its just tree's deadpool".

"no no, they are there….watching….waiting, ill catch them someday!".

Falling to his knee's, the merc let out a scream while shaking his fists in the air.

"SOMEDAY!!!!!!!".

"……".

"YOU HEAR ME!!! ILL GET YOU!!! I KNOW YOUR THERE!!!!! ARRAUGH!!!".

"….you ok?".

"………………….yeah I'm good".

Getting up off his knee's, deadpool started back up the steps next to a now slightly confused keitaro. Making it to the tea shop that was run by haruka just a few minutes later. The two stopped for a second before spotting the woman with a broom in one hand and a ever present cigarette hanging loosely in her mouth.

"deadpool! Meet my au-".

A broom stick cracked keitaro across the top of his skull as he was making the introduction, her eyes went from her nephew to the man standing, snickering at the two.

"the name's haruka".

"kenny McCracken at your service".

She eyed him when she saw the smile appear under his mask, figuring out that was a lie the older woman then asked him a question.

"where you from kenny?".

"a little village outside of Warsaw Poland, my parents were Russian immigrants escaping the communist during the sixties. My father was a poor dirt farmer…".

"what did he farm?".

"dirt, yeah he wasn't too bright….my mom actually made most the money, she made stale bread for the junkies in the nearby village. It was me and fifteen other siblings, one became a crack addicted meth smoking dog breeder. The other thirteen died on the titanic and I became a doctor before I was burnt all over my body by Paris Hilton's blood while trying to find a cure for cancer. I'm not surprised her blood is very acidic, must be from constant make up usage and that damn rat dog she keeps in her purse….I of course went into mercenary work, because a scarred doctor doesn't do well with patients. I then met the love of my life, a girl named Sammy. She was a patient at a mental health facility and I was a scarred mercenary who broke into the nut house to steal and eat the pills they served to crazy people. After falling in love and snapping her neck on accident, I joined a crack team of guys who thought my skills were useful, until they ditched me here in Japan".

Haruka stared at him like he was in a restraint jacket, this guy was defiantly off his rocker. Looking to her nephew who wasn't phased by his rant at all, her eyes drifted back to the mercenary.

"….my name's deadpool by the way".

"don't worry aunt haruka, he was joking".

"no I wasn't".

"yes…you were".

"no I wasn't, seriously all my siblings died on the titanic! You don't think I wouldn't remember such a horrible day…..momma cried so much, her fat rolls shook like the ocean waves".

Keitaro sighed and began walking up the rest of the stairs, back to the apartment. A smiling deadpool behind him all the way. The building slowly came into view, which caused a whistle to come from the mercenary as his arms crossed.

"damn….what do you do for a living!".

"I'm just the manager here".

"……are you sure you don't sell drugs?".

"NO! are you crazy!?".

"yeah, but seriously who keeled over and gave you this place".

"my grandma left to go around the world, she wanted me to look after the place while she was gone".

Nodding his head in understanding, Deadpool began making his way to the entrance but was stopped before his hand reached the door handle.

"ok deadpool, I'm going to give you a warning…the girls here are a little well…"unstable".

"hmmm I see…..do any of them foam at the mouth or speak latin?".

"…..no".

"do their heads rotate one hundred and sixty degree's before they puke out pea soup?".

"no…".

"well what do they do?".

"motoko tries to cut you in half with her sword, naru punches and kicks you…..kaolla blows you up, kitsune flirts with you to get what she wants and….well shinobu isn't that bad".

"I see….you know bumper car's would solve all your issues, you should consider getting a few of those bad boys".

One of Deadpool's legs come up and kicks the door in, all while keeping eye contact with keitaro.

"wha!? Why did you do that!!!".

"we have to get inside before the sun goes down kei-man, the night is when the radioactive zombies hunt for brains…..and they spew radioactivity from their mouths….it wont kill you but it'll fuk your day up".

Looking away from the mercenary, keitaro sighed while looking into the doorway, seeing the familiar faces of the Hinata group come charging towards them. While keitaro just stared like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck…..

BWAHAHAHAHA how you like that you freaks? Eh? EH!?? Nah I'm just kidding, but I've got some more random crap coming so don't move from that damn seat….or else!. im kinda glad im redoing the whole damn thing, i wasnt as descriptive last time. so this should make people happy...or else!. i've been having afew brain storms in my head for the past few days, one involves a tenchi muyo and love hina crossover which ive never seen before in my entire life. maybe keitaro being a distant relative of tenchi and coming to visit him, or tenchi is a tokyo U student and is living with keitaro and the gang. but it would have double of the insanity of girls, not just the girls at the hinata, but the girls from the tenchi show thown in with them at the apartments...ah insanity, its soooo fun...and random! cant forget the random.


	3. Chapter 3

Guess what!? IM BACK! With another chapter of the random kickassness of deadpool. I know your pumped, and so am I. And so here it goes, enjoy it you freaks, I know I do.

* * *

Keitaro stared at the girls as they came charging towards himself and deadpool, looking over at his new found friend, who watched the girls with a smile. Deadpool began to wave at them as keitaro stepped behind the mercenary. They all stopped as the two known as motoko aoyama and naru narusegawa both stepped forth, both not looking too happy. 

"URASHIMA!".

"y-yes?".

"WHO IS THIS!!!".

Deadpool watched the two girls, both looking ready to kill at a moments notice. Point a finger to the group of girls, the mercenary pointed out the obvious.

"they don't look too happy".

"they don't like it when I bring people over".

"hmmmmm…….yeah well psycho's tend to hate everything at random".

Grabbing keitaro by the collar, Deadpool walked calmly past the group and into the house. Dragging the now confused manager inside and into the living room, he took the remote from off the table nearby and turned the TV. He then threw keitaro onto the couch afew minutes later.

"what are you doing?".

"well kei-man, deadpool loves watching walker texas ranger".

He started flicking through the channels quickly, trying to find that exact show.

"oh yeah I've seen that show, he's pretty good at fighting".

"yeah I know, one time I saw this one episode where he fell out of a helicopter and landed on his head….five minutes later he was up kicking ass. greatest man alive, maybe even greater than my greatness".

Finding the show was on in Japan was just being lucky, because they did find the show. Sitting down Deadpool watched as the theme song rolled through, with Chuck Norris looking badass as always.

"wait a minute…..crap! don't tell me they did crummy voiceovers!".

"well, this is Japan and a lot of people don't know English".

"but this is straight bull!! Trivette does not have a whiny voice!".

Watching the show made the mercenary cringe on the inside, he felt a piece of himself dying every time the bad voiceovers spoke.

"Trivette sounds like he's farting out of his mouth, walker's voice is the only cool sounding one and CD is a god damn skinny dude!".

His rant did point out a very obvious thing, the very fat man who played CD parker was now a skinny nerdy looking guy who looked like he was just plucked off the streets of Tokyo. Pointing at the television, Deadpool screamed out in what was a mix of anger and straight up insanity at the what the TV company did to a once great show.

"THAT'S BULL! No way in hell would a guy like that be running a western type bar….maybe a library but not a friggen bar!!!".

"its ok, just change the channel!".

But it was too late, Deadpool had already taken the initiative and had sent his foot into the television's glass screen. Taking it off his foot, he was about to toss it at the wall, but the girls had finally come back into the apartment building and was staring at him and keitaro. Naru stepped forward, a vein in her fist showing she was not happy about the manager bringing a unknown man into the aparments.

"keitaro…..".

"y-y-y-yes naru?".

"tell us again who this is?".

Deadpool turned to them with a smile and a raised hand.

"IM DEADPOOL!!!".

Motoko stared in shock at the assortment of weapons strapped to him as she slowly slid her sword back into its sheath. She would wait for him to make the first move, that would be the wise thing to do. Naru on the other hand didn't notice all the weaponry…or the Chuck Norris tee-shirt he wore. both hands balled up into fists as she got ready to attack him, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. It was kitsune, who had also noticed the guns and swords.

"hun, as much as I love watching keitaro get pummeled, you may want to look at what he has on first".

Naru's eyes darted to all the weapons, he was a walking tank. Looking over at keitaro, she pointed to the mercenary who still had a smile on his face.

"where did you get this guy!".

"I landed on him! He needed a place to stay so I offered to let him stay here".

All the girls stared in shock, except for kaolla su, who was happy to have another friend to play with. Shinobu looked over at what was left of the kicked and smashed television that was now laying on the floor.

"what happened?".

The merc looked back at the TV and let out a laugh.

"OH! Yeah I kicked it….someone ruined one of my shows…..I just hope the guy who did this horrible thing…..dies in a horrible way….".

"you kicked the TV?".

"yeah, best idea to come into my head….not like I was gonna shoot it…….awww crap!".

Throwing his arms into the air, he realized he missed another chance to do something even better than kicking the TV. The girls watched him closely, his mind had jumped from one thing to another in a matter of seconds. Unknown to everyone else, haruka had appeared behind them watching the events unfold also. Motoko stepped forward and away from the group, cautiously towards the now upset Deadpool.

"Deadpool, your weapons…they aren't needed in this house, I'm asking you to leave".

The mercenary's eyes went over to keitaro, who was staring at motoko in shock. She had actually asked a man to leave nicely. His eyes went back to the swordswoman before letting out a chuckle. He stood off the couch and seemed to tower over everyone, even motoko.

"nah I like it here…I'm gonna stay and help out the keister over there..".

Pointing with his thumb at keitaro, he laughed and jumped onto the table while everyone stared blankly at him.

"so yeah, im staying...".

Looking over at the TV that was now smoking, he motioned to it.

"yeah...if you get me some play doh ill get a new one".

* * *

BWWAHHHH!!! Now that I've done another chapter, I'm liking how deadpool acts. His randomness isn't so random to me…its kinda normal. So my random + deadpool's random equals easy fan fiction writing!. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ah yes, it is I once again! Thought you were rid of me weren't you?. Well yeah I wasn't in the mood to add anything to this damn fic. But I've come up with another hellish chapter of hellish hellhole of hell's deepest pit…in hell.

* * *

Chapter 4

11:23 pm

Keitaro's head rested on his drawing desk as he thought deeply about the last days events. He thoughts skimmed over Naru's reaction to letting Deadpool stay. "why does she always make things so hard!" his words echoed in his empty room and luckily Naru wasn't in her room above at that moment.

The door slid open suddenly, as the mercenary came into the room. Carrying more supplies into the room and throwing them onto the table. Deadpool's eyes went over to Keitaro as he pointed to a lengthly piece of rope that covered one end of the table.

He then stated "you know….we could pull a prank with that".

Keitaro's eyes went wide as his head slowly turned in the mercenary's direction, he then replied "your not serious!?".

A smirk appeared under Deadpool's red and black mask, grabbing the rope and a pair of ear plugs that he always carried with him, his finger pointed at keitaro as he yelled "ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOST BADASS PRANK EVA!!! i swear to god man, this prank is gonna be so hardcore, your gonna scream at the hardcore damage we're gonna do...and you can quote me on that quote".

Standing up with a lengthy groan, keitaro decided it was best to go along with the deranged mercenary. Slowly the manager of the Hinata and the mercenary left for the room of a certain swordswoman's.

TATATATATATATATATATATATATATA

As the two males came upon Motoko's chambers, they went into sneak mode as Deadpool went to one side of the door, Keitaro going to the other.

Deadpool began making hand motions as Keitaro watched, after about five minutes the mercenary gave up slowly slid the door open.

Glancing to keitaro, he then whispered "alright keister…I'm gonna go in and slip the ear plugs in. you hang onto the rope and if you hear me like hell".

Throwing the rope at the manager, who nodded his head as he caught it, Deadpool slipped into the room slowly and cautiously.

Keitaro sighed as shinobu passed him, most likely heading off to her room to sleep as well. She stopped when she noticed keitaro who was trying not to look conspicuous.

Her eyes looked at the rope as she asked "sempai, what are you doing with that rope?".

His eyes went wide as he began to think about what to say, or a excuse. He looked down at her as she made puppy dog eyes. Taking the rope into his left hand he then said "well…I..uhhhh….Deadpool wanted to pull a prank on motoko….he dragged me into it".

"auuuu sempai! You know motoko wont be happy about that". Shinobu ended that sentence by grabbing both hands.

Keitaro knew the younger girl was right, the most feared woman in the building would be hunting him and Deadpool down if the two went through with this prank. "oh god….were so screwed".

The head of a certain mercenary poked out, looking at the two with a smile, he then spoke up "…great keitaro you got her in on it too!!! Ok ear plugs are in and ready to role".

Feeling the mercenary's eyes land on him, keitaro stated "yeah about that….I don't think it's a good idea, you dont know how made motoko gets".

"WHAT!!? COME ON! Keister! Man listen, how many times has she knocked you into orbit with that damn sword? This isn't just a prank! This is payback man! think about every time she's beaten you up or went ape shit with that sword and chased you for five hours straight". Deadpool looked at the two as his words sunk in.

Grabbing the rope and snapping it tightly, a serious and determined look came over the managers face as he said three simple words "lets do this".

A thumbs up and a smile was returned to keitaro from Deadpool, while shinobu blushed at the new found confidence her sempai developed.

Deadpool looked over his shoulder at the sleeping motoko, before saying "well kiddies, shes out like a light…give me the rope".

Keitaro slipped into the room with shinobu and handed the rope over, he then glanced up at the roof of the room and spotted a hole that exposed a support beam. A glance at dead pool found that he was looking at the very same hole in the ceiling.

Shinobu hid behind keitaro as she asked "what are you gonna do?". Her eyes watched as he slid the rope through the hole, over the support beam and out the other side.

"well little girl with weird colored hair, this is what you call a pulley system. I will be tying Motoko's feet to one end of the rope, and we will hoist her up into the air….making her a living piñata...its amazing what you can learn in the public school system". His words made her giggle, even if it was a mean prank, it would still be fun.

Tying a tight knot around her feet, he didn't give the woman time to react as he pulled straight into the air with a laugh. Watching her flail her arms about, he then said "well miss motoko, this is payback for the keister! you just got punked bioatch!!".

Motoko let out a yell in anger as she stared at the three, her eyes landing on keitaro as she yelled "YOU VILE MALE! HOW DARE YOU TWO!".

Deadpool laughed while watching her, shinobu on the other hand was trying to calm her down as keitaro booked back out the door and up to his room as fast as humanly possible. He slammed the sliding door open and shut before collapsing to the ground, short of breath and sweating hard. He stopped breathing when he heard a certain girl moving about in the room above. Listening as naru made her way to motoko's room, his eyes going wide as Deadpool came barreling into the room before slamming and locking the door.

Keitaro eyes stared at the mercenary as he asked in a loud manner "whats going on?!".

Deadpool scratched the back of his head and said "well…..she's out of the rope and she told naru….wanna play some super Nintendo? I hear duck hunter is a badass game. but then again i wanna play super mario, that game rocks my socks. love the under water levels. you know in the nintendo 64 version, if loose alot of life and jump into the water, you get healed. its crazy what you learn in video games, water heals and riding dinosaurs is great to know. and riding through sewer pipes...love riding through sewer pipes".

Keitaro smacked the side of his head and sat down, the next few moments were going to hurt. Hearing the door began to get beat on, the manager decided right then and their to say prayers for him and the mercenary, who was off looking for the super Nintendo.

* * *

BAM! Another chapter, another fun fricken adventure. fantastic i know, but hey its ten at night and ive got nothing better to do. 


	5. Chapter 5

Here's what you've been waiting for, the all important fight scene!. it's a bear knuckle brawl between the all mighty coolness of Deadpool and the graceful and beautiful motoko….god I love her…….anyways. this little fight is dedicated to the guys who have supported me so far. You dudes rock! And as for pairing Deadpool up with one of the girls, eh I haven't really decided. the tenchi crossover with love hina, well that's still in the planning stages. I'm still deciding on how the two guys meet in a ordinary way, like tenchi's mother and father brought him to the Hinata when they were on vacation. Something that would be kind of believable to readers….besides a malfunction in the time space continuum has been used way too damn much in self inserts and other crossovers. I'm starting to rant now….damn my ranting!!!!!! UUUGH!!!

* * *

The door to the manager room had been taking a beating for a while now, Keitaro had made it out by going through the hole leading to Naru's room. As the door blew into pieces, the two girls walked into the room. They found Deadpool sitting in front of a small television as the theme song to super Mario blared out of the small, slightly blown speakers. Naru cracked her knuckles as she approached the distracted mercenary, who's soul purpose in life at that moment was to get to the water level. Standing to his right, the Tokyo U hopeful looked at his zoned out expression, before calmly kicking the super Nintendo into the wall opposite him. His eyes stared blankly at the TV, which was now a blank screen.

Balling his right hand into a fist, Deadpool slammed it into the wooden floor below him. Pieces of wood were sent flying as it splintered from the impact. He then let out yell as his index finger pointed to her "YOU!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!".

Deadpool's head turned to Naru, his left eye twitching in a uncontrollable manner as he stood up. Looking over at Motoko he then said "you are after this man beast".

Giving Naru no time to react to the insult, Deadpool grabbed her and pulled her over to the now blown apart super Nintendo. Pointing to it, he then screamed out "SAY SORRY!!".

"…what?". Naru looked at him funny, she was not about to apologize to a piece of plastic and metal.

Growing impatient, Deadpool growled out "say sorry to the nintendo or…..I'll give Keitaro a pair of your panties!!!….and some hand lotion!!!! Do the math!".

Naru's eyes went wide in shock as she bowed her head to the broken Nintendo while uttering the words sorry. Deadpool put a hand on her shoulder to show his appreciation, and after showing said appreciation, the mercenary then tossed her into the closet where he found the Nintendo and locked her in it.

"that'll cool her jets".

Feeling eyes stare him down, the mercenary focus was then turned onto Motoko. The swordswoman was staring at the closet and him, mostly out of shock at the way Deadpool took care of Naru so easily. She pulled her sword from her side and readied herself, determined not to be tricked by him again. A smile appeared under his mask as he looked himself over, trying to figure out which weapon to use at this very moment.

The mercenary then began talking to himself "grenade? Nah too messy……handgun? Nah too much noise…..submachine gun? Nope too many bullets…….flash bang? Screw that, I get too much flack from people when I use those…..swords?….screw it ill use both swords".

Drawing both katanas from his back, the mercenary looked up at the girl who was staring him down. He began to show her some tricks, spinning the two sharpened weapons around while whistling. Motoko felt her ego and pride shrink each time he looked from his swords to her. He yawned before stopping the swords, all while wearing his classic smile.

Cocking his head to one side, he then asked "I'm ready aoysama bin laden".

The insult was the last thing she heard as she charged him, swinging her sword out of anger. Stopping her swing was easy for the mercenary, as he began blocking all of her moves. Tossing one of the swords to the ground, Deadpool still was able to match her, blow to blow. Jumping back, Motoko noticed that the manager's room was now unrecognizable. Deadpool's leaned against the wall behind him, grabbing without notice, a small yellow item that had slipped into the room during the fight.

Pointing her sword at him, motoko then yelled "FINE! I will finish you off right here!".

Deadpool got off of the wall and looked around behind him, looking back he pointed a finger at himself and said "Oh…you were talking to me".

A growl came from motoko's throat as she readied herself for a Shinmei-ryu technique. A smile appeared on her face as he just stood there, not impressed by her at all. "you think I'm weak? ILL SHOW YOU!".

Before she could use her prepare to do some serious damage, Deadpool tossed the object behind his back at her. It was Tama, who clinged onto her tightly while letting out a mew. Motoko whipped her sword around, trying to shake the turtle off of her.

As the hot-spring turtle let go, Deadpool pointed and said "TAMA!! SHE WANTS A HUG!!!!!!".

Motoko stared at the turtle as she made a run for it out of the doorway, while Tama flew after her. Deadpool Stood alone for a few moments, keitaro finally came down through the hole in the ceiling. He was visually shaken by the sounds he heard from that very room, which looked like it had been through the civil war, world war I and II, the Korean war and lastly…Vietnam.

Putting a arm around keitaro's shoulder, Deadpool let out a chuckle and said "come lad! Let us celebrate our victory over the English! They may take out land, our homes but what they will not take is our FREEDOM!!".

Keitaro let out a laugh as he said "you watched brave heart didn't you?".

"yeah, it's a excellent movie…filled with the fighting and the freedom all Scotsmen deserve!!! Well lets go grab some food keister, I've got the munchies for a burger and some Louisiana dry rub baby back ribs".

Keitaro surveyed the damage before shaking his head no "I can't, I've got to fix this before I do anything else".

Deadpool raised his fist into the air and spoke his words of wisdom to the manager of the Hinata "AWWW COME ON! Keitaro listen, when I fought in the battle of little big horn, did I listen to the commanding officer? NO!. When I kicked the shit out of the nazi roman's along side Jesus, did I listen to the Caeser? NO!. when mother nature told me to slow down, did I listen? I said fuck you and kicked her in the face….with my legs of pure energy. And that's how I made puppies so adorable!".

Keitaro knew just to nod his head and go along with the mercenary. Grabbing his coat…or what was left of it. Looking over at Deadpool, who kept glancing at the closet. Keitaro then asked "what's wrong?".

Deadpool shrugged and said "nah its nothing….I don't think this room is even damage".

At that moment, a piece of the ceiling fell down, a loud echoing clang sounded off. Deadpool laughed that off and pushed Keitaro out of the door, while saying "lets go to McDonalds".

The two made their way out of the Hinata apartments, down the long stone staircase and to the streets below.

* * *

Wooo that was a good chapter, filled with the crazy. Next chapter will be badass, cause it's gonna be Deadpool, Keitaro, haitani and shirai. All out on a night on the town, what will happen? No one knows. Not even me, and im writing this god damn fic. Just started on the tenchi muyo and love hina crossover. It's going to take a while though, I'm still smoothing out the rough parts. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey hey folks, yeah Deadpool has been unleashed onto the town surrounding the Hinata apartments. Lets see what happens!.

* * *

Deadpool and Keitaro had found haitani and shirai, working partime handing out flyers for a fast food restaurant nearby. The two stopped when they saw who Keitaro was walking with, throwing the flyers on the ground, the two bum rushed their friend.

When they came within inches of the Hinata manager, they screamed "KEITARO!! KNOW WE KNOW WHY YOUR NEVER AROUND!".

Keitaro jumped back in slight shock, he knew sooner or later he would run into his friends. The two were ogling at Deadpool, who was in turn ogling at a McDonalds across the street. Knocking the three out of their gazes, he led them across the busy street and into the restaurant. A small line greeted them as they came through the door, causing the mercenary to yell out.

"AWWW COME ON! Jesus its ordering food!, not fricken chess!".

The others in the line glanced back at him with a look of discontent as person at the counter, who was a little old lady by the way was having trouble deciding on small or medium. Deadpool decided to decide for her, by walking up to her, grabbing her by the back of the collar and by her pants waist. The mercenary walked calmly to one of the large windows at the front of the restaurant and tossed her out of it, breaking the enormous Paine of glass in the process.

"DAMN OLD PEOPLE! They always buy Cadillac's and driving them three miles per hour….always trying to decide small or medium!!!".

He fell to his knees while reaching his hands into the sky, he then screamed "WHY CANT YOU KILL THEM QUICKER!!!!".

Most of the customers left as Deadpool screamed about why god won't kill off all the old people. But then again god could actually be a hot chick with long flowing black hair and bright green eyes.

"yeah the narrator could be right about the god being a chick thing….".

Deadpool nodded his head as he agreed with the all mighty narrator's words. Because as you all know, the narrator decides the fate of many.

The two friends of Keitaro stared at the mercenary as he started a conversation with a invisible person, or just another voice inside that mind of his. They watched him go over to the counter as he began his order.

"ok I want….two baby back ribs…five ears of corn….a banana milkshake, a can of beans and a waffle".

"sir….we don't serve ribs".

"……NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!".

Deadpool slammed his hands on the counter as his mind tried to comprehend the mans words.

He finally replied "……ok ill have a number three with extra pickles".

The man at the cash register stared blankly at him for a moment, at a lost. This man screamed then ordered calmly…all within five seconds. He pushed a few buttons as the other three ordered also, after what seemed to be a eternity, the group got their food and sat at a window booth. Deadpool lifted the top bun of his sandwich with a giggle, before putting it back down. Doing that some more, he finally grabbed a pickle that had ketchup on it and threw it at the window next to him. A loud smack echoed through the McDonalds as the sauce exploded behind the green……..pickle.

He watched with laughter as the pickle slowly slid down the wall, leaving a trail of ketchup in its wake. Deadpool then said "I love these pickles, you know we used pickles to win the Vietnam war".

"Deadpool……….America didn't wi-".

"IT WAS NINTEEN SIXTY NINE!! I was on a recon mission into Cambodia. It was me, Fletcher, Johnson, Baker and Stevens. We had a simple mission, torch a small rice farming town that we affectionately called Satan's asshole. We approached from the south, doing a sweep formation, but before anyone could react, Fletcher got hit with machine gun fire…..for some reason they aimed for his balls. Anyways, after he hit the ground, I had to act. So I picked up a basket of pickles from one of the pickle fields and threw them at the machine gun nest, causing it to explode as a dove out of the way in a slow motion dramatic fashion".

Haitani leaned over to Keitaro and whispered "….does he do this often?".

Keitaro just nodded his head as he watched Deadpool scream about loosing the man named Fletcher. As the three watched him while eating, Deadpool decided to let loose on the insanity. Grabbing the plastic tray that his food was served on, he looked to the younger guys around him.

"you guys wanna see something crazy?".

Haitani and shirai nodded their heads yes with a smile, while Keitaro shook his head no.

"two outta three, sorry keister majority vote".

Leaning over to the both next to theirs, he watched as a old man sat with his infant grandson as they enjoyed their meal. Raising the plastic tray high above his head, Deadpool slammed it down hard onto the old man's head, sending his head into the table. The mercenary sat down as quick as possible, as the old man looked back and said.

"which one of you hit me?".

Deadpool crossed his arms and said "You are just a smelly senile old man, we've been sitting here the whole time. Eating out delicious golden brown French fries and our burgers which have been cooked so perfectly, god herself would shudder in delight after taking a bite".

The old man looked back to his food and kept eating, motioning for the three guys to leave. Deadpool waited until they had left before grabbing his tray again. Cocking his arms similar to how a baseball player readies for a pitch. He then sent the tray at the side of the mans head as hard as he could. What made it more perfect was the man had heard Deadpool and had turned his head towards the tray. The old man hit the widow with a thud as his infant grandson giggled. Deadpool gave the baby a thumbs up and left, but not before tossing a flash bang into the restaurant. Everyone screamed as the flash went off, except for the baby, who had decided to play peek-a-boo with his unconscious grandfather.

The four guys started back towards the Hinata as the emergency crews arrived to pick up the seeing impaired and the old man who had a major concussion. Keitaro looked at his three friends as they talked about how the mercenary threw the old woman out of the window like it was no big deal. They came to the steps of the apartment building, Deadpool then asked.

"hey keister, can Hai and shirai crash at the apartment tonight. It gets so boring with man beast and bi polar girl".

Keitaro weighed in the good and the bad before saying "…ok".

All four made their way up to the large Apartment building, laughing like they've known each other for ages.

* * *

And that's another chapter! Hope you guys like it. 


	7. Chapter 7

Here's the next chapter in this crazy tale of….crazy. The idea for this chapter well…actually came from the last Deadpool fic I made. Its one of them chapters…oh you'll know if you read it before.

* * *

The day began like any other normal day at the Hinata apartments, Kitsune was watching the television, Deadpool had decided to join the resident drunk some time ago. They seemed to be watching a boxing match, and the one guy face was not looking to good.

Hearing footsteps coming from upstairs, Deadpool started mumbling to himself.

"please don't be naru, please don't be naru….please lord don't be…".

He glanced over when the footsteps stopped next to him, Naru stood right in that spot with a not too pleased look on her face.

"awww come on!!! What do you want now!!!!!!".

Naru was taken back by his angry shout, but she raised a fist to his face and replied.

"what are shirai and haitani doing here?".

"OH! that's right, we partied all night, got drunk, bought some high priced hookers, then crashed here".

A growl came from Naru's throat as she pointed at him.

"well you four are gonna clean up! This isn't free room and board here!".

Deadpool looked over at kitsune and said "…..she doesn't pay rent either".

Naru pointed up the stairs in the direction of the mess that the four men caused last night, Deadpool stood up with a groan and drug himself up the steps. Stopping at the top, he found the other guys hard at work, cleaning.

Deadpool pointed a finger at Keitaro and said "if your beastly girlfriend threatens me one more time….I'm gonna hit her in the face……with a tire".

Keitaro stared at the mercenary, who's eyes showed he was dead serious about hitting her with a Goodyear. Haitani and shirai gave Deadpool two thumbs up from behind Keitaro.

"or maybe instead of a tire, how about a whole god damn car…..like a nineteen fifties Cadillac or a really old Oldsmobile".

"NO! can't we please just cle-".

Deadpool cut him off by reaching into the pile of garbage and taking out a filth covered pizza.

"I was wondering where that was".

Haitani looked at him and said "five bucks says you wont eat it".

Deadpool eyes went over to him as he replied "money? Screw that ill do it for free".

The three watched as the mercenary lifted the bottom part of his mask, ate the pizza and pulled the mask back down. Haitani and Shirai both looked at him starry eyed as he began to rummage through the pile of garbage for more food.

"he's my hero".

"I know Haitani…he's way better than Keitaro".

Keitaro stared at his so called friends, while Deadpool grabbed a hammer from under a pizza box.

"I knew it was somewhere…..now to get Naru…".

But before his hammer to Naru's face could be hatched, Keitaro took the instrament of awesome from him and kept sweeping. Deadpool groaned and sat down, he would let these three do the work, while he assessed the situation. After some time of working the three decided to take a break next to Deadpool, who had been sitting in the same spot, and the same position for three hours. The four tried to think of some way to get out of this, Deadpool's awesome pointer finger raised in all its glory.

"maybe if we steal all of Naru's bra's……".

The other three guys thought about that idea, it would probably get them killed, or sent into slave labor. They all shook their heads and began to ponder more, Deadpool then felt someone watching them. His eyes went up and connected with Motoko's, who was proceeding to the Onsen. Her eyes stared at Haitani and Shirai with deep resentment and of course, hatred.

"what are those two doing here?".

The three guys decided at that moment to run, and sacrifice Deadpool for the good of the others.

He smiled at her and said "sometimes I pretend I'm a shark".

She shook her head and walked down the stairs, Motoko knew that she couldn't harm someone who didn't even have a thought pattern. Haitani, Keitaro and shirai poked their heads around a corner and saw that Deadpool was fine, and was playing with a piece of paper. The carefully came back to their spots, as Deadpool threw what was left of the paper into the pile of trash.

Haitani decided then to act on his gut instincts as he said to the mercenary "I've seen better sharks on discovery".

His eyes filled with fear as Deadpool stood up, taking it as a challenge to his greatness. The mercenary's eyes went down to Haitani as he spoke "you dare challenge me? I was pretending to be a shark while in my mothers womb!!! I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUE MEANING OF SHARKDOME!!!".

The three unlucky lads followed Deadpool down the stairs, to the door leading to the onsen. He stopped and grabbed Shirai, sliding the door open, he threw the kid right through the changing room and into the waters of the onsen. The three girls known as Motoko, Naru and Mutsumi, were all using that very onsen. Both Motoko and Naru screamed bloody murder as they chased him out into the now empty hallway and up the stairs. Coming out of a room nearby. Haitani and Keitaro watched as Deadpool proceeded into the Onsen and into the water, where he began to swim like the a real shark would. Mutsumi watched at the mercenary swam around, pretending to chase a small fish or fight a whale…..something that sharks do…I dunno I'm just the narrator.

His eyes looked at her as he stood up and said "aren't you suppose to be chasing what's his face?".

She shook her head with a smile and giggled while he scratched the back of his head.

Shrugging he then began to walk out of the water while saying "maybe when your done in the puddle of water, you can watch a tom cruise movie with me. We'll both talk about how much we hate tom cruise".

The three guys left before Naru and Motoko came back to the onsen, both had demolished shirai in a rage so horrible…that it would hurt just thinking about the rage of it all. Mutsumi looked up at the two, with a blush on her face. Naru knew right then and there something happened when they left after the unlucky boy.

Naru put her hand on Mutsumi's shoulder and said "is something the matter?".

Mutsumi shook her head no and said "who was that man?".

Naru looked over at Motoko, who eyed her before saying "…..oh god…she met Deadpool".

At that very moment, Deadpool let out a sneeze as the three guys tried to revive a unconscious shirai. Who had been beaten, sliced and somehow hit by a missile, which had to of come from kaolla su...she was hiding...somewhere.

* * *

God that chapter was kind of long…my hands hurt now. So anyways, thanks again for the support and what not….see ya. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ah! another chapter, another form of chaos. wooo i love the chaos...it taste soo good.

* * *

The days with the mercenary known as Deadpool quickly went by, For the most part he was accepted as one of the Hinata residents. His quirky antics may caused some of them to have headaches, but it was all in good fun for the merc with a mouth. This very day became well known though, as it started out during breakfast.

Shinobu had just come out of the kitchen, while everyone was around the table wonder where the food was.

The young girl's eyes looked to everyone, "its…gone!".

"what do you mean?!". Kitsune's narrow eyes seemed to open slightly at Shinobu's remark.

"kitsune! Its gone! All of the food is gone!". The Hinata residents all looked at each other, each completely shocked by the fact Keitaro had bought a months worth of food just the other day.

Everyone looked to kaolla su, who was looking at everyone else in shock. At that very moment, Deadpool came out of the kitchen rubbing his belly while letting out a loud burp.

"Jesus that was sweet….". The mercenary's eyes looked at everyone as he said that.

Naru looked at him with suspicion "did you eat all the food deadpool?".

Deadpool looked at everyone again, a small smile hidden under his red and black mask as he rubbed his belly like a mother to be would.

"……..if I told you yes, would you be mad?".

Naru's eyes narrowed as she said "yes…".

Deadpool raised a thumb into the air in front of Naru "yeah I ate it all, it was good too...".

Naru got into his face and pointed to the merc, who's smile was now spread from ear to ear.

"YOU! You are going shopping!".

Motoko looked up to Naru "naru….we cant just let him outside by himself…remember the last time we sent him out by himself?".

Naru stopped talking and froze, the last time was one of the most horrible incidents known in the hinata apartments. They only sent him to the video store to rent a movie for everyone to enjoy, but he returned with a movie that was so horrible, so pornographic and violent, even Satan himself would try to kill himself if he ever laid eyes on said movie.

Naru looked at everyone "ok! We need someone capable of handling him…".

All eyes drifted over to Motoko, who now wore a scowl. Looking at Naru, the resident swordswoman stood and walked over to Deadpool's side.

"fine, but you owe me. I do not like being this man's baby sitter".

Deadpool put a arm over Motoko's shoulder "don't lie motoko, you love me and my silly little mind!".

She shuddered and looked at him with her death glare, while he smiled his smile from under his mask. Shinobu handed Motoko a list she made up when she was in the kitchen. Going back to her seat, the young girl watched as Deadpool began walking to the door.

Shinobu looked over to the mercenary "umm….I didn't see you in the kitchen…where were you?".

Pointing his thumb towards the kitchen door, the merc responded.

"yeah I hid under the sink…".

Her eyes went wide, "in the….cabinets?'

Deadpool responded like it was normal "yeah, you almost caught me….but then again you can never catch me...that's just the way it is".

Grabbing a now shocked motoko, tossed her over his shoulder and leaped out a open window. The residents all went to that very window as Deadpool ran off, leaving a trail of dust and dirt behind him.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The two walked towards the local store, Motoko glanced at the list as they stopped at a busy intersection.

"ok we need…..you drank all the milk". Motoko looked at the mercenary for a response.

Deadpool looked down at her "I needed that milk, it builds strong bones".

Looking down the list, she found that he ate everything except for the dish soap and floor cleaner.

"yeah I was tempted to drink the floor cleaner…it smelt like oranges". Motoko stared at him as he smiled through his mask, irritating her more and more by the second.

Grabbing deadpool, motoko dragged him across the now empty street and into the store. The two walked over to the produce aisle, looking around at the selection. Deadpool grabbed a carrot and began poking Motoko in the face. She slapped the orange vegitable away from him, it then flew down and landed on the floor. Hitting the feet of a young child, who picked it up and held it up to Deadpool.

The mercenary looked at the boy, his eyes lite up as he picked up the kid. "Why hello there son! Do you remember me?…I'm your papa! i know your shocked, I had just learned it myself...thank god for home DNA tests...anywho I just wanted to see you before I left. for you see I joined the french foreign legion...kind of like van damme did in that one movie...but I'm going off to fight the nazi zombies. They are not as bad as the radioactive zombies...but they make up for that with their anti-Semitism and all things nazi...Tell your mother I hate her with a passion".

Motoko stared as deadpool hugged the crap outta the boy. The little boys mother turned to take the child over to another aisle, stared in shock before screaming her lungs out.

Deadpool's eyes went over to the woman "come on Martha! Why do you always make a scene like this! I cant even say goodbye to my son without you freaking out!!!!".

The woman's husband had heard the scream and rushed over, watching Deadpool, who held onto the boy by the pant waist.

Deadpool pointed to the childs father "Charles!!!!!!…we meet again, you steal my wife away from me when I'm serving my country and now you want my son? Ha! He is my blood Charles! Not yours, the boy will always have my blood".

The two parents along with motoko stared in shock as deadpool shoved the child head first into the produce bin, laughing as he did.

"happy Martha! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!".

He screamed out incoherent words as motoko grabbed him, paid for the stuff she got and tore out of the store like a bat out of hell. Getting out of her grasp for a second, Deadpool whipped the door open and tossed a flash bang into the store. Grabbing him by the Collar, she pulled him down, the two were now face to face with each other. The flash bang then went off, but the swordswoman did not flinch once.

Motoko gave him a glare "are you insane!!!!".

Deadpool smiled "yeah...I like to think so".

She let him go and began to carry the groceries back to the Hinata apartments, while the merc with a mouth pointed out some things.

"well Motoko…you must know how I was raised, then you will know the reason for my…..quirkiness. You may not understand it in normal talking, so I will sing it out to you…and the best song to describe my life is the three's company theme song!!!!".

Motoko sighed out of embarrassment as he began to sing, causing people to stare at the two.

Deadpool closed his eyes "come and knock on our door! We've been waiting for you!! Where the kisses are hers and hers and his Three's Company too!!!!!!! COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR!!!!".

Motoko looked at him "Ok! that's enough!".

"are you sure? I can keep going..". Deadpool looked down to her as he continued "TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW!!!!! THIS IS FOR YOU BEA!!!!".

Motoko chose at that moment to run and get as far away from the mercenary as humanly possible. He looked around, shrugged then continued on with the theme song.


	9. Chapter 9

Deadpool returns once again! Sorry for lack of updates, for you see this fic depends on random spurts of insanity, which hasn't been happening lately for some reason. But my crazy has returned for another jump into chaos and….crazy!. I also like idea's from the readers, and if you want me to throw some little thing into this fic, don't hesitate! Just do it.

* * *

The day….well, it was going about the same as a "normal" day at the Hinata apartments. Deadpool had decided to hang with shinobu at that very moment, because the vibe of killing intent was still radiating off of Motoko.

"do you have any fives?".

Shinobu looked to the mercenary from the cards in her hands "…nope! Gold fish!".

"WHAT THE HELL!!!!". slamming his cards to the table, Deadpool crossed his arms as a upset look crossed his face, under the mask.

"wanna play another game?".

The merc with a mouth looked up at the young girl and said "nah I'm good….and no more monopoly! Last time we played that kaolla got that little doggy lodged in her nose".

Shinobu giggled as she remembered that game, while Deadpool shuddered at the thought of it. Some moments later, the resident swordswoman made her entrance into the living room area. Her cold eyes fell on Deadpool as she remembered the "shopping incident".

"hey sweet cheeks!".

Motoko's hand involuntarily went for her swords handle, but she stopped at the last second. She sighed and said "hello….Deadpool".

Deadpool waved his hand in a passive manner, "please call me jimbo".

Motoko looked at him for a moment before shaking her head and leaving for her room.

Shinobu watched Motoko leave before asking "…is your name really jimbo".

"nah its actually wade…but I like it when she's grumpy".

The two looked at each for a moment, both trying to stifle the laughter.

"I've got a idea! TO THE DEADMOBILE!". Deadpool stood and pointed outside to a bright red moped.

The bluenette looked at the mercenary "where did you get that?".

"a lot can happen between chapter eight and nine!".

Before the young girl could respond to that statement, Deadpool picked her up and carried her out the door and to the vespa looking moped. He then got on and took some time trying to start it.

Deadpool's eyes looked the thing over, "stupid fricken thing…last time I buy a used moped".

It finally roared to life…if a moped could roar in a manner such as this, it would be the greatest moped of all time.

"so true narrator!".

"who are you talking to?". Shinobu looked at the mercenary funny.

Deadpool shook his head before slapping one of two helmets onto the little girls skull, causing her to rub her head through the helmet. The merc with a mouth put on a pink helmet and got on the small machine, waiting just a few seconds for Shinobu to get on also.

"is this safe?".

Deadpool looked over his left shoulder and said "trust me…you'll be fine".

The small machine took off, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The moped slowed to a stop on the main street of the town, bringing the kickstand out, the mercenary and Shinobu got off and put the helmets on the seat. Deadpool went over and pointed to the license plate.

"your not cool until you have DP1 on your license plate!".

Shinobu had learned not to question Deadpool about his rants from that point on. She then followed him to a vending machine, Deadpool scanned his drinking choices with a look of pure determination in those eyes of his.

"powerthirst…I'm not into power drinking….goo cola? What the hell is that!?…rawberry? Pffft that's a horrible name for a soda".

Deadpool had almost left at that very moment, but a certain soda caught his eye. And that soda's name…chaos brand soda.

Deadpool raised both hands into the air and screamed "I SHALL TRY THIS SODA!!!".

Inserting a dollar pulled from god knows where, he pushed the button and waited. The machine kicked the can out quickly, it was as if the machine was trying to get rid of said can as quick as possible.

The mercenary grabbed the soda and began to read the label, "….warning…may cause hallucinations, hearing of voices, bleeding of the gums and a itchy butt hole….well I've got two out of two….what's so bad about bleeding gums and hearing voices anyways…".

Deadpool pulled the tab and opened the soda, an a thousand screams were heard by himself, Shinobu and some other people.

"….that sounds about normal…". He then chugged the can before crushing it and tossing it into a trash can.

Shinobu shook her head and asked "why are we here again?".

Deadpool looked back to her and thought for a moment, "……………well….huh…I…….maybe….oh yeah, I was gonna get some more stuff to prank bipolar girl and sweet cheeks with".

The two walked to a small family owned business, but stopped halfway in.

"this feels too…well I've been going into shops too many BLUE HAIRED GIRL! We'll shop in natures store!".

Deadpool and Shinobu walked back out the store and into the alleyway near by. The merc with a mouth pointed out a dumpster and began going through it. He then grabbed a neon orange coat. Finding a green bandana, the mercenary began to formulate a plan within his mind…or what's left of that mind of his.

"ok! I'll need your help with this prank Shin! Ill trick them into thinking a dude snuck into the dorm! They'll believe that….those girls believe anything!". Deadpool rubbed his hands together and chuckled.

Shinobu watched him and said "they won't like it…".

"well…think of all the times they punched the Keister…this is still a payback prank!".

Shinobu thought a moment before going along with the deranged mercenary. She wanted to see Naru and Motoko…even Kitsune get paid back with interest.

Deadpool grabbed some other things from the trash can before dragging the young girl off. This lone prank would shake the Hinata apartments to the core.

* * *

WOOO! You'll love the prank I'm saving for the next chapter.

I decided to add in some things from some other anime shows, the vespa moped is clearly from fooly cooly, which is one of the most random shows I've laid eyes on. The neon orange coat is from the anime show naruto. I like naruto…anything with ninja's rocks really. I think a character like Jiraiya would make for more crazyness at the Hinata…hell this maybe a crossover of epic purportions!!!!.


	10. Chapter 10

Naruto and all other marvel characters are not owned by me at all, if they were well….lets just say I would be in Jamaica right now.

* * *

"Deadpool!! Come on! They are going to be angry!" Keitaro sighed as the resident mercenary pooled all his random thoughts into a plan. "you know what will happen once motoko and naru catch onto you". 

Deadpool let out a laugh, "come on keister, those two are just ordinary women…one may punch hard and one may have been raised a warrior, but still just women!". Deadpool let his words sink into Keitaro, while he dressed himself into his outfit.

Keitaro looked over at Deadpool with a groan, the mercenary wore a gigantic white wig and was dressed as a certain perverted ninja from a certain anime.

"how do I look?". Deadpool spread his arms open, giving the Hinata manager a full view of his costume. A smile appeared on his face as he waited for Keitaro's opinion on it.

The manager looked him up and down, glancing over to a magazine that had a picture of the ninja in it. All in all, Deadpool looked one hundred percent like the ninja. "Deadpool…I'm being serious….you look exactly like Jiraiya!".

The merc with a mouth shoved his fist in the air, celebrating his wonderful achievement. He then turned to his partner in crime, who had been sitting quietly near Keitaro. Pointing a finger, Deadpool then said "thanks for doing the makeup! It must have been hard since my skin is horribly scarred and disfigured!".

Shinobu blushed at the complement, "well….I think they push Keitaro around too much…". The young girl looked at Keitaro, who smiled at her. Her gaze then went to Deadpool, who was practicing changing his voice, so he would not be discovered so easy.

"hello ladies….Hello Ladies…HELLO…nah too loud..". His thoughts went to certain teammates, who had dropped him off into Japan in the first place. Deadpool rubbed his chin and said to himself "well…who's voice should I try to copy…..wolverine said if I tried to act like him he would gut me like a fish…and Thor talks like he's from the sixteen hundreds…hmmm that leaves ol' cap or…..ill talk like Bruce Willis!! That guy knows how to talk!".

Keitaro watched as Deadpool started to practice talking like Bruce Willis, almost nailing his voice down perfectly. A smirk came onto the Manager's face as he suggested a different voice. "how about Arnold Schwarzenegger?".

Deadpool stopped talking like Bruce and slowly looked back at Keitaro, he then yelled in the best Arnold voice ever "GET DOWN!! IT'S A SNIPA!!! ARRAGUH!!!". He watched as Keitaro and Shinobu busted out into laughter. "Was it that good?".

Keitaro stopped laughing long enough to reply, "that was the greatest impression of him ever! How do you do it like that!".

Deadpool went back over to Keitaro and said "well its easy! First every word that ends with the letter R, change it to A. then add grunts and yells to the end of it, and try to get into his mind…that's how I do it".

Keitaro nodded his head, he then tried it. "ARRRGUH! I NEED SOME PAPA!!". He looked at the merc with a mouth, who laughed so hard, spit came out of his mouth and landed on the table. "was that good?".

Deadpool gave him the thumbs up and said "that was the most best thing ever! The way you said paper!! Perfect!!!".

The two guys shared a laugh as Shinobu, who was trying to hold in her laughter also, handed the mercenary a digital camera. "umm Deadpool? What are you planning to do?".

"Well lass! When the girls go into the onsen, I plan on jumping in, snapping some pictures and then making a run for it!. And if I survive, ill bring it to a computer, put said pictures on the internet and embarrass the crap outta all of them at once!!!!". Deadpool began to laugh maniacally as he fell to his knees and raised his arms.

Keitaro chucked, if this plan worked, the girls wouldn't be able to live the humiliation down. "what if you get caught?".

Deadpool stopped laughing, "haven't thought of that yet….huh…well man beast and bipolar girl won't get the best of me!!!".

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

It was becoming too easy for Deadpool to pull these sort of pranks, because one of three girls were usually in on it. Sarah, the annoying blonde girl that Deadpool despised for some reason. Kaolla su, who reminded the mercenary of himself and lastly shinobu, who was so sweet and innocent, the older girls would believe anything that came from the resident cook. His approach to the outer walls of the onsen had been uneventful, but hearing the girls voices on the other side of the bamboo wall made him smile.

"_this is too perfect…they won't know what'll hit them until its too late"._ The merc with a mouth poked his head over the fence and peered at the half naked girls, who had not noticed him yet. Looking down, Deadpool checked to make sure his disguise was still in place. _"three…two…one…….GO!"._

The ninja formerly known as Deadpool, now Jiraiya leaped over the fence with pin point precision. While in the air, He snapped six pictures before landing in front of the door that led inside. The girls had no time to react as five more pictures were snapped in quick succession.

"I TOOK PICTA OF YOU!!!! ARRRAGURAAAGURAAAH!!!!!!!!". The unknown pervert with a German accent leaped onto the roof of the Hinata apartments and took off, leaving a dazed group of half naked girls behind.

Motoko was the first to react, reaching for her katana that rested nearby. A growl escaped the woman's throat as she yelled. "GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT!!!". She listened for a response, her eyes darting around the roof, trying to catch a glimpse of this man.

One line came from the unknown pervert, which sounded kind of like "NEVA!!!! ARRAGUH!!!!".

Motoko leaped from the ground onto the roof to give chase to the unknown pervert, but she was brought to a stop when she noticed that she was only clad in a towel. A very revealing towel which was wet and clung to her womanly and perfect form….nice.

Deadpool leaped out of the shadows and landed in front of her as motoko gazed down at herself. Taking this chance, the mercenary began to sing in a voice that sounded just like Jiraiya's, but with R&B beats in-between the words. "Girl /bicbicbiwica\ your smooth /whikawhika\ your soft /chicachica\ FINYINYINE!!!!! Yeah silky yeah".

Motoko stared blankly at him as he ran a hand through the long white wig of hair. "WHO ARE YOU!?!".

Deadpool pointed two thumbs at himself and announced, "I'm Jiraiya! The toad ninja! I also write naughty books…but that's on my off time really". He then began to look at the pictures on the digital camera, trying to find that one…you know that one where you see a certain kendo girls……boobies!!!!.

At that very moment, motoko snapped. Drawing her sharpen katana of death, she ran full throttle at Deadpool, who was dodging her moves while looking for that picture. "STOP MOVING!".

"be one with the sword…oh that's a good picture!!!!". Deadpool looked up at motoko, who was sweating from trying to hit him. That sweat in turn, caused her towel to slip off a few seconds later. [CLICK was what the resident swordswoman heard before noticing a very cold draft blow by her.

Deadpool, still holding the camera then said "that's a good one…all nice and sweaty!". He watched as she covered herself before taking off.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The return trip back to Keitaro's room was more complicated, because the girls had set up patrols in the halls to catch the ninja they nicknamed "perverted Jiraiya the toad". But they never checked the outside of the building, because windows are what ninja's use to get into and out of buildings. They are way too cool for normal entrances called "doors".

Deadpool found Keitaro and Shinobu in the room, playing monopoly. This game had been fun for the merc with a mouth, but after the incident with kaolla su and this game, he found himself to be resentful of it.

**FLASHBACK**

"_I WANNA BE THE DOGGIE!!!". those words came from kaolla su as they decided on the game pieces. Deadpool, who was always the little doggie, decided on the next best thing, The badass looking car!._

"_oh yes…you can have your little doggie….but my car runs little puppies over! My car is higher on the food chain!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!". the merc with a mouth raised his arms while laughing._

"_are you ok Deadpool?". Shinobu's voice brought him out of that insane laughter of his, and that's when he figured out, he had no inner monologue in flashbacks._

_Deadpool looked down and nodded his head, only to see that the little doggie had disappeared from the game board. "where did the doggie go?". his eyes then drifted up to koalla su, who was trying to look inconspicuous, but a small dog shaped in her left nostril gave it away._

"_ill get the tweezers…". Shinobu got up and went to one of the bathrooms, leaving Deadpool to watch as Kaolla su acted like nothing had happened._

_Deadpool watched her closely "I hate you….". _

**END FLASHBACK **

Deadpool shuddered, but then realized that the little doggie piece was not being used. "you guys know what happened to the doggie right?".

Both Hinata residents nodded their heads as Keitaro landed on one of shinobu's spots. He groaned and handed the younger girl the rest of his money.

Deadpool watched with amusement before saying "god just like real life isn't it? Keitaro has no money, the girls take his money….leaves him with nothing but a little thimble! Its amazing, monopoly is just like real life! Personally I like to buy the cheap properties, becoming the slum lord of monopoly is so much fun".

Keitaro looked up at him and responded, "that's what she did…bought all the cheap property….".

Deadpool flashed a thumbs up to Shinobu and said "you should think about going into the business world, you seem the type to take a lot of money…shes the banker too!!! Sucks to be you Keister!".

Keitaro groaned again as Deadpool sat down and pointed to the little doggie, which was sealed in a plastic baggie. "anyone gonna use that piece?".

"ewwww it still hasn't been cleaned". Shinobu looked at the piece after saying that exact line.

"aww come on! Soak it in some rubbing alcohol! It'll be fine". the two residents watched as Deadpool took the doggie out of the bag and set it on the game board before sitting down and rubbing his hands together. "anyone ready to be owned by the toad ninja?".

* * *

And that's chapter….well its another chapter. Yeah! 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11! Wow this piece of work has gone far hasn't it? It seemed like it was only yesterday when this fic was…reborn. Well the first one had short comings, and after writing a small message to the person who told me it was garbage, I decided to have a laugh and rewrite it, just to piss him off. I haven't heard back from the bag of douche yet, so I think my plan has worked so far. And if he is reading this, I hate you, I hate you with such a undeniable passion.…..on with the show!!!!!.

---------

"Fifty percent complete", those very words on the outdated computer flashed in front of Deadpool's eyes as he waited for the pictures to load onto the worn out computer.

"COME ON!!!!!". The merc with a mouth almost slammed his fist through the computer screen, but stopped when he realized that the computer could feel no pain. It was mostly his fault, because he bought the computer at a pawn shop, he also thought it was a steal for sixty two dollars.

Keitaro came into his room and stood behind his friend, trying to calm him. "Deadpool what do you expect from a computer that old….what year was that thing made?".

"….nineteen eighty two". Deadpool looked over his shoulder at Keitaro while keeping a straight face, showing that he was indeed telling the truth.

Keitaro slid his bedroom door closed and sat down next to the mercenary, his eyes studied the computer with a experts eye before saying in slight surprise, "commodore sixty four…holy crap".

Keitaro leaned closer to the screen to inspect it more, finding that it was indeed a original 1982 commodore 64 in mint condition. Its screen broadcasted a lovely three shades of grey and its tower was well, kind of big. And the key board was cereal box sized, It was truly the classic car of the computer world.

"Deadpool…where did you get this?".

"…..pawn shop". Deadpool said as he looked back at the screen, and found it to be at fifty five percent loaded.

Keitaro sighed, he would have to break the news to Deadpool softly. "….you know…those things are slow…you wont get a internet connection with that one".

Deadpool stood up and looked down at the really old computer before saying "Well, thanks for screwing it up for me…but then again you save me time! Now I can go fin-".

Before the mercenary could even finish his sentence, Keitaro had gone into his closet and pulled a brand new laptop from underneath a pile of clothing.

"where the hell did you get that?". Deadpool went over to the table in Keitaro's room, where he was setting up the computer.

The Hinata manager just smiled and said "well me and shinobu bought it, we knew you didn't have a computer to put the pictures on…….".

"GOOD GOING KEISTER!!!! WERE IN BUSINESS NOW!!!".

Deadpool whipped the camera from the commodore and brought it over to the laptop, he plug it in as quick as he could before sitting down next to Keitaro.

"how long will this thing take?".

"well it'll take a few seconds to load the pictures on the computer and no time for the internet". Keitaro looked over to Deadpool and found him rubbing his hands together in a evil mad scientist manner.

Deadpool stopped for a moment as a smirk appeared under that black and red mask of his. He eyes looked over at Keitaro, "should we put them on a naughty web site….or put them on myspace and embarrass the crap outta all of them at once".

Keitaro smiled a little bit before saying "….how about both?".

The two looked straight ahead and started to laugh at the same time, in the same way.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The table downstairs was filled with the residents of the all girls dorm, but strangely enough, the only two males were somehow absent from it all.

Motoko was first to take notice of this, she began then spoke up. "where are urashima and Deadpool?".

The girls stopped and looked around, finally realizing the two were gone, and when they are both missing, that means they are up to something. Naru cracked her knuckles, getting ready to hand out a ass beating to Keitaro at least. She stopped when the two began to come down the stairs, laughing at a joke.

"Then you know what I did keister?".

"HAHAHAHAHA!!..w-what!!".

"I took my knife, stabbed him in the leg and told him to stay away from my cheezys!!!". Deadpool made a stabbing motion with his right arm as the two began to laugh, but the joke had shocked the girls.

"who did ya do that to hun?". Kitsune looked up to Deadpool, not opening her eyes one bit.

Deadpool looked down at her and said "my friend weasel".

The two took a seat and began acting like normal, the girls finally calmed down enough to start eating again.

"….by the way, found some naked pictures of you girls on the internet today". Deadpool stopped talking and looked up at them before proceeding. "…they are great too, good angles, the guys a top notch photographer….think his name is jiraiya or something".

He looked at them as they all processed the information, they all then went into pissed off mode. "…could someone pass the salt?".

Motoko slammed the salt down in front of him hard, causing the cap to come flying off and land onto the floor beside him. She then proceeded to the nearest computer, except for Keitaro and Shinobu, who were both trying to stifle their laughter.

"CHECK THE COMPUTER IN KEITARO'S ROOM! I BOOK MARKED THE WEBSITES!!!!". Deadpool started laughing, his two accomplices immediately did as well.

"good thing I deleted the pictures off the laptop".

"yes keister, you saved our asses…..and that camera is in a place no one will find".

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The girls stared in shock at the laptop computer screen, the pictures from last night were plastered on both myspace and a website that looked to be set up for just this occasion.

"THAT BASTARD!". Naru stood seething with anger at what this unknown pervert did, he was worse than Keitaro from her point of view.

Motoko looked around the room, trying to find the camera or something that would implicate either Keitaro or Deadpool. Kitsune on the other hand was admiring the work that this unknown man did, his photography skills were amazing.

The resident swordswoman stopped looking, it was no use to try to accuse the innocent. She then looked at Naru and said "urashima and Deadpool are not the ones who have done this….they had told us about the pictures, sparing us from not knowing at all….we must stay vigilant in this matter, the man will return, and we shall be ready for him".

The three girls decided from that moment to always keep a sharp eye out for that pervert.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Deadpool, don't you think we've gone alittle too far?". Keitaro looked at his friend, watching him shove a piece of orange into his mouth.

The merc with a mouth swallowed it whole and said "yeah, ill delete the pictures tomorrow….just let me bathe in the glory of trashing their pride!…and I need to print the pictures out for my scrapbook".

Keitaro looked at Deadpool and asked "…you have a scrapbook?".

"doesn't everyone?! I have all my memories in that little book of mine! Like when I would hang out with wolverine!". Deadpool smiled at his memories, only to be interrupted with some words from Keitaro.

"…..you told me wolverine despises you".

Deadpool smiled and gave him two thumbs up, "hates me with a passion!…he's warming up to me though, he doesn't try to kill me like he used to…I think were on good terms. Ill invite him over tomorrow!, you guys will love the guy!!!!!!".

Keitaro and Shinobu looked at each other, knowing quite well that tomarrow would be another chaotic day.

---

"hey kids! Your friendly neighborhood mercenary Deadpool here saying don't post pictures of yourself or others naked on myspace or the internet without permission from them. Myspace is filled with perverts and people who like to touch themselves!".

Deadpool, dressed as a police officer, pointed over to a large slideshow screen. He then clicked a button on a device in his hand, causing a picture of a young boy to pop up. he then said "this is billy…he's a fine young man with good grades, until he found certain pictures on the internet!. Now billy has fur on his palms and takes a interest in communism!….now you know, and knowing is half the battle…..GI JOE!!!".

* * *

Yeah had to end it with a message from the star, so you guys now know Deadpool is looking out for you!. 


	12. Chapter 12

HELLO! thought you would not be hearing from me did you? it is I! here to write another piece of bad fanfiction!!. you thought you were rid of me? nah i actually joined the army so i could have to chance to blow up things and not pay for it...only morally pay for it not with money.

* * *

That another usual day thought flashed through the mind of the manager of the hinata as he passed by kitsunes room to start work on another project. "project" as in a eight foot round hole that was knocked through the wall by his body, thanks to a certain swords-woman. He groaned to himself as he got the hammer ready to board up the gigantic hole. After what seemed a eternity of hammering nails, and sweating out his frustration, keitaro had finally finished the repairs.

"FINALLY! its done! no to ge-".

Before that very sentence could be finished, the nice new wood was plowed through by none other than the resident deranged merc himself, deadpool. Keitaro threw the hammer down in defeat and looked up at the mercenary, who had a proud look on his face, under the red and black mask of course. The mercenary looked down at the depressed keitaro with a smile.

"keister! why the long face chum? hey let me tell you something that will cheer you up. when god gives you lemons...get a new god".

Grabbing keitaro by the collar, he then began to drag him towards the main living area of the hinata apartments. The merc with a mouth tossed the manager of the hinata onto the couch and stated.

"Well me boy, we've got big things happening today, deadpool got in contact with a friend. well i tried to call wolverine, but he threatened to rip my spine out of a certain area that well...it would hurt...so i got the next best thing, my friend weasel is moving in baby!!".

Keitaro watched as the mercenary began thrusting his right arm in glory!. Keitaro shook his head on the other hand and groaned before saying.

"well...have you told the girls about this?".

Deadpool shook his head and said "nah, keitaro its like this man, you have all the power, they don't...kinda like communism".

Deadpool flashed a thumbs up as Keitaro questioned his sanity, which was on the edge and ready to break.

later on

Deadpool waited patiently by the door, his friend and punching bag weasel should be here anytime now. The girls, who found out just minutes before, were also waiting...to crush the poor mans heart and skull. A knock sounded softly, causing everyone to make a mad dash towards the front door. Deadpool, finding that waiting by the door was easier had been their first. he opened it to find not just weasel, but a big burly man standing behind him.

"WEASEL!!...wolverine? i thought you said you despised me beyond anything known to man!".

Wolverine growled and tossed the skinny young man into the house as he said "bub, your lucky these people are here...".

Deadpool laughed and slapped the mutants shoulder before replying "awww...I'm rubbing off on the big bad meanie".

That last comment got a punch served to the face to deadpool, from wolverine himself. after brushing off the place where Deadpool had laid his grubby little paw, the ill mannered mutant looked at the crowd of stunned witnesses.

"...you folks have no idea who that guy is eh? good luck living with the guy...".

With that last sentence, wolverine turned and made his way back down the long steps to the city below. he growled to himself while thinking, was it such a good idea to leave someone who had...well didn't have a mind in the hands of those unlucky normal human beings?. well...yeah at least the creep wasn't crawling through his hair anymore, or trying to play "lets have fun with wolverine and a flamethrower". That's one game the mutant hated, sure he could regenerate himself on a cellular level. But burns hurt like hell! and it didn't help that every time he was regenerating, that deadpool would burn him again or toss a grenade.

Deadpool on the other had was very very, well enthusiastic. Now he had two friends to hang out and cause general chaos. Weasel and keitaro...who looked really similar...in a creepy distant relation sort of way. Not the inbred west Virginia way, the other my grandpa went overseas in the forties and had fun with a female way. As he was comparing the two in a demented how can i fill their lives with the fun and joys of automatic weapon fire.

"GREAT! another vile male to try his wicked perversions".

Deadpool looked at motoko and said "well the demonic Satan woman from the seventh layer of hell speaks! what wisdom will you spew from that opening in that head of yours?".

The girls all stared at deadpool in shock, for one, he had said that in a very serious tone. That is way too common to happen in the hinata household. Two, he was holding a very hefty and nice sized desert eagle handgun, which would probably punch a hole the size of a baseball in someone. With those two combinations, the girls slowly backed away from the three guys and at that very moment to leave them in peace.

"WELL! weasel! welcome to the new pad man. This fellow is keister, who looks kinda similar to you...in a creepy way. Any who! I've taken young keitaro under my wing and he goes where i go. Haiti, Jamaica, hell...jersey even Iraq...if the local permit us".

Weasel and keitaro looked at each other for a moment before shaking hands, causing Deadpool to hug them both in a big bear hug.

"you two light up my life...not the light of automatic gunfire or frag grenades...that other special light...of flash bangs".

* * *

YES! i know you all have not heard from me. its this army deal, but hey they let me play with automatic rifles...and i love automatic rifles. you ever shoot a .50 caliber machine gun? thats fun!. if you ever get the chance, aim at a tree. i did in basic and i had fantastic results.


	13. Chapter 13

hello! once again ive returned for another...ah screw it, im sick of the introductions. you want another chapter in this never ending craptacular fanfic?. well, i aint got much of nothin to do because well...the army makes you wait. i also dont own any tv shows mentioned in this part of my fic, but just in case ive changed the names...bastards want my money. i wont let them take my money!! im a friggen private, if they want my money they will have to sham it from me or threaten me while wearing seargent stripes. until then, i shall keep the green backs and laugh at the peoples faces as they say "i live paycheck to paycheck". bitches! i eat for free...and i look great in acu's.

* * *

Deadpool groaned, he was truly bored with how this crap was going. One thing he thought should of stopped by now was Keitaro's little "dream" of going to the tokyo hellhole of hellish desires and blood...or was it university?. It really didnt matter, Keitaro was of course off to another practice exam while the merc with a mouth was...well he was watching craggle rock on the T.V.. Why a little kids show from the 1980's was on in Japan? well, no one really knew why. The show had been on in Japan for as long as anyone could remember, thats why its the "norm" for Japanese school girls to be so hyperactive.

Deadpool shook his head and said "you pulled the wool over the honest yet naive japanese people craggle rock...but I see through your souless intentions".

The merc calmly pulled a nickel plated desert eagle hangun from beneath a pillow next to him and waited. For some time he had the barrell trained on the T.V.. Waiting for something, or someone to appear to the mercenary. Then at a moment, just afew minutes later, "it" appeared. This thing, this creature was mokey. The thing called mokey was so discusting its name was not even capitalized because she or it was too unimportant. It reminded Deadpool of satan, crawling out from the seventh layer of hell to offer the forbidden fruit to eve. The things eyes were shifty, darting around like it knew something no one else did. Kind of like the presidents when he says "there is weapons of mass destruction".

"I SEE THROUGH YOUR DISCUISE YOU FREAK FROM HELL!!". Deadpool then unleashed hell upon the new television. He put five nice sized .50 caliber rounds into the creature as it talked to the other fraggles. Throwing the magazine from the oversized handgun to the wooden floor, The merc with a mouth drew another magazine from behind his back, kicked the blown apart T.V. completely over and finally put the beast from hades down.

Motoko was the first to appear, sword drawn and ready to fight whatever set Deadpool off. Her brown eyes darted down to the plastic, glass and metal pieces that were across the floor. Along with the nice sized holes in the walls and floor. She then growled to herself as Deadpool sat back down. Sure he was ok to have around as a protector, but his random acts of...well random was starting to wear her down.

The other girls didnt even bother to show up, because they were used to things getting blown up and now shot to hell by oversized hanguns, machine guns, assult rifles, flash bangs, bowie knives, frag gernades, incindiaries, fire, napalm, claymores, more knives, howitzer shells rig to exsplode when someone says Keitaro, trip wires, garrotes, sniper fire, automatic gernade launcher set on full auto and kicked so it'll go in circles and lastly a piece of C4 shaped like a crude banana in hopes that koalla su eats it. The place was turning into a warzone, not the pretty warzone like in the movies. This narriator is talking about the warzone like vietnam where shit got crazy, or WW2 where the nazis got their asses kicked. Sorry to bring that up Japan, but ya'll fucked up with that team up, but hey this narrirator still has love for ya.

Motoko sighed and slid her sword back into place before saying "you must stop overreacting Deadpool...it is just a childrens show".

Deadpool stopped and slowly gazed at her, she looked kinda lovely in this lighting. her dark ebony hair was flawless in appearance. an- "ALRIGHT! _god this dude spends too much time thinking..._motoko, dont you find it odd that this "craggle rock" stopped airing in america in nineteen eighty six...but here it is still played? well i believe it is being used to warp the minds of the japanese people so they can be used as sex slaves or models in some weird country where they say borishsnetszin and whatnot".

Motoko thought about it, and she agreed to a limit that Deadpool had a point about the show being aired in Japan. She never really liked american shows, they were tasteless for the most part. They were filled with sexual themes and the children shows were mostly idiotic.

The merc with a mouth smiled from under his red and black mask and said "I have a mission, we take back the Japanese television empire from america and give it back to the hard working, laboring japanese people!!".

Motoko shook her head and said "you know...Japan does not have a military, it would serve the people better to have more than just a defence force".

"WHOA WHOA WHOA!! one step at a time you! thats going alittle overboard. lets work on the important things first, like television and the food. then we'll work on the government and military crap that no one cares about...". After his speech about it, he put the handgun back into its holster and said "lets kick some peoples faces in!!".

* * *

yes! ive decided to have them run through japan causing hell. not stay in one spot, one spot is boring. kinda like chicken wings with no sauce on them. "eh its ok...but it needs sauce", the traveling is the sauce. and well...it'll be better than the same old story.


	14. Chapter 14

Hello! back again eh? could not refuse the awsomeness of....of this fic. i agree, this thing is probably gonna end up being lost in the site. but im determined to keep writing so the fans feel jiggly and so full of juice!!! JUICE!!!!!!.

So the journey began across the great country of japan as the Hinata apartment rentors....people piled into Deadpools new..well not so new car. It was odd for everyone to be piling into a vehicle. But it was more odd that deadpool had found a nineteen seventy two gremlin in japan. Everyone was tightly packed as the old lime green car rolled down the road, leaving a smog trail in its awsome wake. Motoko sat shotgun with her arms crossed, and mumbling under her breath.

"Why must you drive such a vehicle...it smells like....".

"MOTH BALLS!!! i know sweet cheeks....you love the smell, you guys wanna hear my mix tape?".

Deadpools words brought horror to the passengers, the last music he brought to the apartment building was the sounds of war. Resulting in Shinobu having nightmares, Naru waking up in cold sweats, Motoko having PTSD for some months and Keitaro was seen as a "VC" by Koalla su, who thought she was in Vietnam.

The music began to play through the blown speakers, at first it was classical...nice and soothing. Then the music slowly turned into someone scratching a chalk board and dophins making that loud yelping sound behind it. Even that wasnt enough, a cats hiss, a guys voice saying "Dude i farted" on a loop and a wet fart was added in.

Naru screamed "GOD! DEADPOOL!!!! what the hell is this!!!!".

Deadpool turned the car around a corner and looked over his shoulder before replying "something i threw together called drunkin monkey screws a kiwi".

Everyone stared at him, because it didnt sound like a monkey. Only when they heard the screech of a monkey slamming it to a kiwi harder than hell did the group yell their anger.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THESE DISCUSTING SOUNDS!!!".

"YOU LIKE IT, I DOWNLOADED IT OFF LEMONWIRE!!!!!".

They all plugged their ears as Deadpool "sung" along with the monkeys screams, while the people on the outside of the car screamed and thrashed around on the ground in agony as the car rolled by. The car rolled into a empty parking spot at a small convience store, Deadpool put the smog gremlin of death and agony or as he called it, SMGDA!! into park. He then raised his hand and twitched a finger, and at that very moment the car backfired, causing some people around it to hit the ground in fear of gunfire.

And so the motley crew of adventures proceeded across the street into the infurnal damnation of hell and brimstone...or as i call it.......a television broadcasting station!!.

"EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE GOD DAMN GROUND NOW!!".

The group looked at deadpool in shock, for he had unstrapped a barrett .50 cal sniper rifle from his back. But this barrett was far different from the bone stock one, for it's scope was replaced with a small red dot type scope....for room clearing. Why had no one pointed this oversized anti vehicle weapon out in the first place? because just like chuck norris, no one questions Deadpool.

"he's got a gun!".

"oh my god!!!!".

The whole place erupted into panic as deadpool unloaded two rounds of greatness into a wall, causing the people to stop and stare at the nice three feet round holes it produced. Deadpool smiled and began his speech.

"now i know some of you rejects of society have been putting these tv shows on...like craggle rock. i despise that show soo.....anywho! your going to put on some tv shows that put family values back into....well into the family!. I command you to put happy week, i love bucy and of course elite samurai death squad of death and blood onto the tv!!!".

Slamming another hole into the wall with the rifle, he then tossed it to Keitaro, who instantly fell over and hit the ground. Deadpool reached behind his back and pulled two .357 magnums out, letting loose the fire power into a painting of a bowl of fruit.

"DIE APPLE!!!!".

As chaos reigned around him, like the end of the world type scenario. Deadpools main focus was now in destroying the demon apple, which threatened america's way of life. The others sighed and began walking torward the tv station directors office, pushing calmly through the hoards of screaming people and burning furniture. Where did the furniture of flames come from? well it was added in for dramatic quality.

The Director, who looked like a seargent in vietnam after his whole squad had been wiped clean by the vc's during a recon mission into cambodia, he was sitting in his office in shock, viewing the security cameras. No one had been shot, but this certified freak was tearing apart a insignificant television station for a american tv show that had gotten decent ratings. Sure the creatures were freakishly ugly and kinda demonic looking, but isnt that popular now adays?.

The door to his office creaked open as the Hinata apartment residents filtered in. Motoko sighed as she shut the door closed behind herself. Her eyes went straight to the Director of television station, who was sweating bullets.

"this can end one of two ways...either you put educational shows about japanese history onto the television....or we'll let Deadpool spend a weekend in your public affairs office".

His whole body froze when he heard those words, that Deadpool character here!? for a weekend?!. The Director started shaking his head and while sitting at his desk, his heart felt like it was gonna exsplode from beating so fast. He put his head in his hands and did what any man in a situation that involved Deadpool would do...he cried.

At that very moment, Deadpool dropped his two magnums the way a cool movie star would. He then drew a Raging bull 500 magnum and screamed "GET SOME DEADPOOL!!!! GET SOOOOOOOOME!!!!". The oversized slugs tore through everything in his eye sight, the merc began to reload the beast of a handgun while walking up the steps toward a certain Directors office.

--------------------

"GOD SAVE ME!!!"

The director threw himself out of the third story window that overlooked the street, everyone inside of the office cringed as a sickning crack of bones was heard. The director used his only good limb, which was his right leg, to drag himself to relative safety. Deadpool came to the window and groaned, he was only going to fire blanks at him. maybe make him puke alittle and then cause him to piss himself. The merc with a mouth shrugged to himself as he began to think, only to have Motoko crack him across the skull, knocking him out cold.

The swordswoman threw down what was left of the lamp that she used as a improvised weapon. She had just about had enough of Deadpools "antics", including that little outburst he had in the lobby of the station.

"from now on, we watch what sites he goes onto when he gets on the internet!!!".


	15. Chapter 15

well now, seems people still love the cross over of love hina and deadpool. I've been getting the why are the chapters so short. well ive got afew reasons, my bouts of insaine writing come in spirts. I'm actually quite normal, but sometimes my quirky little mind goes haywire or as i label it "ape shit". two, it makes it so people try to guess what happens and keeps them sort of locked into it. you cant really guess what will happen with a story like this, because well, ive read the whole thing and it doesnt make any sorts of sense to me as a saine person. it made me laugh, and its rare for my own writing to make me do that. i mean, the chapters dont even relate to each other, its like the ramblings of the village drunkard in some early irish novel. and i dont point fun at the irish...im 100% irish. now that my whole speal is out of the way, onto the deadpool.

---------------------------------------

No one in the car knew where Deadpool was driving, but what the merc did not tell them was that he couldnt read Japanese. It wasnt that bad, he could make out the pound sign on some of the road signs, thank god for that being on phones.

Motoko sat shotgun still, because Deadpool had almost hit a group of tourists from germany. Well him driving the small gremlin onto the sidewalk during rush hour in Tokyo was bad enough, him screaming at the top of his lungs "THIS IS FOR WORLD WAR TWO!!" almost put her over the edge.

"aww come on sweet cheeks...its not my fault one of those guys looked like hitler".

Motoko opened her eyes and narrowed them while looking at him.

"....they were all women Deadpool!!!".

Deadpool shuttered in discust, he knew he saw a mustache....a small anti-semetic nazi evil mustache. He knew he should of bought a bigger car to crush the evils of the world with, like a mercury.

"...are you sure? that one looked like rommel".

Everyone shook their heads as the green house gas emitting car of death rolled slowly down the highway, causing the cars behind it to swerve and smash into each other because of the smog. Motoko looked at the exit sign down the road, her face went pale as she read it. Deadpool took note of this and assessed the situation before slamming the car hard into the exit lane, causing a bus to go sideways and having abunch of other cars slam into the side. Deadpool looked in the half broken rear view mirror and saw the bus start to be engulfed in flames.

"they dont make giant rolling buses like they used to".

--------------------------------------------

"WHY ARE WE IN KYOTO!!!!!!!!".

Motoko stared heatedly at Deadpool as he looked over a ninteen seventy two road map of nevada. He stopped and shook his head before going back to the map.

"funny....this must be a old fricken map......this squiggly line road isnt here".

"Squiggly line?"

Deadpool stared at her for a moment and said "...what you think i can read this stuff?".

Everyone stared at Deadpool in shock as he began to whistle the andy griffith theme song while still looking at the map.

"YOU CANT READ!!!".

The merc with mouth sighed and shook his head, "everyone in america knows that the japanese language looks like a three legged dog took a pen in its mouth and had a seizure while holding said pen to a piece of paper...so who wants to go on a whale watching tour!".

As Deadpool finished that line, he went to start the gremlin. At that very moment, a loud knocking sound came from under the hood, followed by a loud bang. The merc with a mouth screamed while hitting the steering wheel.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! ME AND POPPA WERE GOING TO REBUILD HER!!!!!".

-------------------------------------------

The group slowly made their way down the street, with no money and no ride. Deadpool, after throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of Kyoto...in broad day light decided to search for another vehicle to travel around in. Slowly a loud obnoxious noise began to follow the group, Keitaro looked over his shoulder and saw Deadpool.

"oh god....he got a van".

Oh, but this was no normal van, this was a 1968 VW. With a very annoying bright cannary yellow and white paint job. That annoying sound was? it was the original muffler from 1968 dragging on the pavement below it.

Motoko stared at the van in pure discust, she had never seen anything so ugly in her life. The trim was rusted from years of use, and some sort of old american decor was all around the windows.

"WHERE DOES HE KEEP GETTING THESE VEHICLES!!!!".

The van stopped right in front of the group, causing the people around it to slowly move away from them. The van door slid open and Deadpool waved them to come inside, A big smile could be seen underneath the mask.

"You like it!? i bought it off some guy!".

--------------------------------------------

_**Flashback**_

_Deadpool slowly drug his feet down the sidewalk, he was so going to give that car to wolverine as a im glad your my buddy and you still havent used my entrails as a jump rope gift. He slowed to a stop as he watched a old man get out of a really beat up hippie type van._

_"hey! where did you get that thing?"._

_The old man turned to him with a smile and was going to tell his story about how he got it after his tour in the army. But the only thing he got was a fist to the fist to his face, knocking him out cold._

_Deadpool felt bad for punching the man out, but honestly grand theft auto isnt that bad of a bad crime. The merc with a mouth reached his hand into one of his many holsters and set a brand new package of twinkies and a wallet made out of duct tape on his chest. _

_"now its not stealing! thats a even trade right there"._

_Deadpool hopped into the drivers seat and started the thing, Jimmi hendrix blared through the speakers as it slugged down the road. Deadpool began tapping his hands on the steering wheel while singing._

_"OOOH FOXY LADY!! BEW NNNEW DE NEWWW!!!!!"._

_People stared as he leaned over the steering wheel, trying to become one with the van._

_"keisters going to love this thing"._

_------------------------------------------------_

"I hate this thing".

Deadpool stared at him, this was not the reaction Keitaro was suppose to have. Hell a hippie van would go for millions on the hippie tye dye black market....was there a hippie tye dye black market?. Deadpool rubbed his chin before nodding his head. He would have to google that when he got back to the Hinata apartments.

"Keister! I punched a seventy year old war vet for this van! and thats the thanks i get?! you know what next time ill just get another vespa!".

Keitaro froze when he thought about Deadpools scooter, which was previously involved in a high speed pursuit. Deadpool had somehow smuggled a mini gun into Tokyo and was transporting it back to the apartments so the zombies wouldnt be able to break the defenses. But the Tokyo police department gave chase when they saw him loading it into a bright little red wagon that was strapped onto the back of said scooter. What developed from there was a six and a half hour chase, involving one red scooter, a mini gun, ten police cars, three helicopters, a elephant that somehow escaped during the zoo part of the chase and of course some more weapons. This high speed twenty two mile an hour chase took the police all over Tokyo. The chase concluded at a bridge, where Deadpool somehow faked his own death with a cadaver from a funeral procession.

"NO! Deadpool we saw you on the news!".

Deadpool looked at him and replied "I was on no such thing, and that scooter served me well!".

Keitaro sighed and shook his head, he knew it was no use convincing Deadpool that he probably cost the Tokyo police department tens of thousands in resources. Plus the fact that the mini was in the basement of the apartments, unknown to Deadpool who forgot about the whole thing.

"NOW EVERYONE GET IN THE DAMN HIPPIE VAN OR ILL TURN THE RADIO ON TO THE GREATFUL DEAD AND OFFER PEOPLE PASSING BY ACID!!!!!!".

The group immediately got into the van, it smelt of a mixture of majiana, moth balls and old shag carpeting.

"Whats that?".

Deadpool looked over his shoulder at kaolla su, who was holding a plastic tube.

"that my creepy little girl is what the americans call a bong...it slows down time".

-------------------------------------------------

After what seemed a eturnity of riding in this van, which muffler sounded like my ex girlfriends voice, they finally rolled to a stop. Deadpool looked at a school of some sorts on his right, Motoko was staring at it in fear.

"_not that school....kami please not...."._

"we're here!!!".

Before anyone could ask Deadpool anything, he was already out of the van and running to the door, but the worst thing about it was that he wasnt stopping. He slammed into the front door, the merc slowly backed off and cautiously stared down the door.

"_thats odd....my force powers should had thrown that door into france and knocked some piere freaks teeth in...no matter! ive got my room clearer!!!"._

Deadpool drew his room clearer from his back, it was the very same barrett .50 cal sniper rifle from the last chapter. He slowly pointed it at the door and took aim, making sure to guesstimate what general direction to put the bullet in.

"Motoko...isnt that your families school?".

A loud gun shot ripped through the air as the bullet slammed the door into fragments of its former glory. Deadpool then grabbed the barrel and proceeded inside, he then began to use said over powered rifle as a bat of some sorts.

"......yes".

A tiny little incy bincy thought then sprung up in her head, her family, the ones who have tried to get her to do what they want her to was having their property get trashed. In some sort of twisted humor she found this earily satisfying.

"oh my god...".

She looked up and saw through the windows that Deadpool had found a new way of exspressing himself, and that was smashing his head into shit. What shit do you ask? well if you count some of the students of the school, vases, afew mirrors and a dog that was begging for food.

Motoko shook her head, she knew Deadpool was a unstoppable force of a PTSD, ADD and everything else mentally wrong with people all rolled into one sweet little package.

"IM ON YO TV!!!".

A loud crash of a television slamming to the ground signaled Motoko that it was time to calm the merc with a mouth down somehow. She saw that he had left a certain gernade that Deadpool enjoyed using in many of the previous chapter. Grabbing it, she began to make her way to the living room, where Deadpool was running through those paper doors. As soon as he reentered the room, a flashbang to the face caused him to hit the ground.

"GOD!!!! IT BURNS!!!".

Deadpool hit the ground, still holding the barrett sniper rifle. While thrashing around in pain and agony, he grabbed the trigger and began firing rounds off, causing Motoko to dart back the the van. Motoko stopped and listened for noise, only hearing silence.

"he's got to stop drinking redbulls.....".

Everyone looked back at Keitaro, who pointed at the whole empty case of redbulls. They all stared back at the now empty school as Deadpool stood up and rubbed his eyes.

"OK! who has the flashlight!?".

Tsuruko Aoyama had appeared next to the group, she had escaped through the back of the house and to the front, only to spot the group.

"I should have known....".

Keitaro turned to her and bowed respectivelty before saying "well.......we were on a road trip".

Tsuruko shook her head, she was going to call the police, but this guy seemed to have some sort of training, and she wanted to see more.

"you will stay here for a while, i wish to study this...".

Everyone stared at her and said "Deadpool".

At that very moment, a frag gernade went off, blowing out the west wall of the building.

"AWWW SNAP! WE GOT A PORCH!!!!".

Deadpool looked at the group from the newly redesigned porch, where smoldering ashes still lingered.

"two sweet cheeks....friggen sweet...".


	16. Chapter 16

hey hey once again!!! me is back with another disfunctional chapter....god i feel sorry for people who come into the love hina section looking for a serious fic, only to stumble onto this abomination. also the i dont own the shit and dont sue me statement comes into play.

--------------------------------------------------

Deadpool rolled around and around on his bed, his mind raced in his slumber of that one time he "accidentally" lit wolverine on fire with some napalm that he had found in a abandon military weapons depot. Well the fact that the other xmen saw it as theft and decided to chase him, which in turn made a very fun hide and seek and flashbang type of game. Suddenly Deadpool sat up wide eyed and screamed.

"JESUS!!! I DIDNT MEAN IT!!! I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND WOLVIE!!!!".

The merc with a mouth looked around with a dazed look before shrugging and moving out of the bed to stretch. Dreams were funny like that, his dreams consisted of gunfire, dead people, zombies...the usual normal things. He sighed and went to the closet of this said room, or as he called it, wades room of magic!!!. The merc needed something to keep himself occupied, since the barrett was "confinscated" by Motoko, who now held it hostage. He began tossing the things that did not interest him over his shoulder.

"geranades?....M4?...RPD??? god so many decisions....maybe...yes YES!!!!".

Deadpool had found what he was looking for, and that very object was a .557 tyrannosaurus rifle. What is this weapon is you may ask? well this narrirator will exsplain!. This rifle is used to take down big game in africa and can probably mess up a elephant.

"thanks narrirator!!".

As The merc thanked his best friend and exsplainer of all his quirky outbursts, Motoko had heard his victory yell and had come to investigate.

"I THOUGHT I TOOK YOUR RIFLE!!".

Deadpool turned to her with a smile under that little old black and red mask of his before stating, "you took one of my rifles sweet cheeks, ive got like at least twenty three of those things lying around".

Motoko stared at him, before going for the rifle, only to be dodged and pushed lightly down onto the bed as Deadpool took off with laughter. She sat for a moment, collecting her thoughts before giving chase to deadpool, who booked into a nearby bathroom. The swordswoman stopped and hesitated going in, but the sound of a round going into the toilet and through the wall caused her to burst through.

"holy crap, that fucker almost got the jump on me".

Deadpool turned to her while holding the oversized hunting rifle as water splurted out from the plumbing in a fountain like manner.

"sweet cheeks! so glad your here! i need help....".

a crack across the skull from motoko's training sword was the only response he got as she dragged him down into the living room on the first floor.

-------------------------------------- 

"I CANT STAND HIS OUTBURSTS NO MORE!!!".

Motoko stood infront of the whole hinata apartment rentors and most of her family, who sat by in shock. Deadpool at that very moment had taken a interest in a thread on his outfit.

"_i wonder if i pull this....would my whole suit come apart?"._

"ALL HE DOES IS SCREAM INSANITY AND DO INSAINE THINGS!!!".

_"huh....then i would be naked....."._

"AND ALL THOSE WEAPONS COULD START WORLD WAR THREE!!!!".

_"talk about alkward...naked in front of everybody here"._

Motoko started to breath rapidly and deeply, her anger was just seething out of every part of her body. Deadpool! that abomination who was placed on this earth to scorn humanity just seem to enjoy the thread, which he had named chim chim. Chim chim and him were going to go to jamaica and travel the world, just him and chim chim.

"COME CHIM CHIM!!! LETS FIND SUBSTINENCE!!!".

Deadpool was about to stand, but a sword cracked across his head, causing him to sit back down.

Motoko's older sister let out a rare laugh before watching Motoko just sit down next to Deadpool, who now sat quietly.

"sister, it seems your the only one can control his outbursts.....i find this amusing".

Motoko stared at her older sister, she knew her sister was thinking, and that was never a good thing in her book.

"he seems to have exstensive knowledge of martial arts.....it seems you've found your match".

Motoko was taken back, she knew what tsuruko was now thinking.

"NO! dont even think that! he's is insaine and should be locked away!".

Tsuruko chuckled and shrugged, "come now, he's not that bad...i think he suits you".

Motoko glanced over at deadpool with pure contempt, who smiled up at her while twiddling his thumbs.

"I WILL NOT MARRY A MAN OF SUCH....DERANGEMENTS!".

Deadpool thrusted his fist into the air, "HELLS YEAH! I LOVE SWEET CHEEKS!!".

Tsuruko looked witha smile at Motoko, who was on the edge of tearing apart everyone and everything in the room to shreds. Naru sighed out of frustration, Deadpool was getting on her short nerves. She looked up at the merc with a mouth, who was starting to do a little dance, but Motoko ended that little sharade with another crack from her training sword.

"i warn you Deadpool, your little antics will be the death of you...do you understand me?".

What she got as a reply was another round fired from the oversized rifle into the wall, which knocked his shoulder out of socket, which in turn sent the rifle back behind him and over the couch, landing on the floor.

"...........hey sweet cheeks....could you pop this back in for me?".

-------------------------------

After relocating Deadpool's right shoulder, which required some effort, Motoko went to the hotspring within the school to think.

"why must she suggest such things, the man is clearly out of his mind....".

The funny thing was, her older sister was right. She seemed to be the only one who could keep the merc under some sort of control. He could actually go out into public if she were in the facinity of him. As Motoko thought about it, That certain merc came into the hotspring, he seemed to be pointing a colt 1911 .45 handgun at his face at eye level while slapping the back of it with his other hand.

"huh...i swear to god something went in there....".

Deadpool looked over at Motoko as he tossed the handgun, it went off and left a hole in the aged fence.

"hey sweet cheeks! mind if i join you!?".

Motoko stood, her eyes were on fire as she went for her sword. Deadpool watched with a puzzled look on his face.

"aww come on missy, we'll play marco polo!".

Deadpool smiled under his mask as she cracked the sword across his skull, knocking him into the water. She then went back in the water to sulk as he floated around, watching him with a content look on her face. After about thirty to fourty seconds of floating, Deadpool stood up in the water and laughed.

"sweet cheeks, i know you and everyone have invested alot of time, effort and pointy things in me and i hope one day we'll get along and raise a fami-".

Motoko leaped at him and slammed him to the ground, she began to swing her fists at him, trying to do him harm.

"why!!! I'm tired of dealing with you! ALL YOU DO IS CAUSE US TROUBLE!!!!".

Deadpool wrapped his around her and said with a smile "i love you too Motoko!!!".

----------------------------------------

Motoko came rushing out of the hotspring, she had hastily grabbed her clothing and left in a hurry. Deadpool came out afew secounds later, missing his left arm.

"Come on sweet cheeks! least you can do is give me a hand and help me find it!".

Deadpool groaned and went back out into the hotspring to find his missing limb, she had to cut it off really. It wasnt his fault that his hand "accidentally" slipped down during that little rough housing and touched her butt.

The merc with a mouth reentered the school with his arm in his right hand, he then sighed "now i know she wants me....she would of cut off my head if she didnt".

-----------------------------------------

Shes had it, that man had somehow crawled his way into her mind. Every time she thought it was always of some way to get rid of him. Other times it was of how to get him out of trouble when he "accidentally" lit something..or someone on fire. She told herself that she was getting used to babysitting him...but that made her even more mad at herself.

Slowly the youngest Aoyama drug herself into her room and slid the door shut behind herself. Deadpool...Wade.....either way she was getting used to him.

"_my god....I..."._

Motoko threw her sword down on the ground in frustration, she couldnt be...with that man. She looked at the mirror in her room, he had already defeated her in combat. Motoko groaned to herself, "this had to happen again....".

------------------------------------------

Deadpool strolled through the halls of the school, which was being reconstructed because of his little antics. The damage was quite small, except for the fact that Deadpool made the kitchen his new "garage". Of course getting the VW van through the window was difficult, but the kitchen counters were great for storing weapons and parts for said very annoying colored van.

"well might as well get to work".

The merc with a mouth went over to a beat up old crappy 1980's style boom box that he stole from some place that had a sign say "orphanage" out front. Its speakers began blaring a some eighties glam rock band with kickin guitar solo's as Deadpool began to have his own eighties movie montage of sorts. He began to work on the van of...well hippie things, as the scenes faded in and out as he work on other things in the van.

~five hours later!!!!~

Deadpool wiped his hands clean and looked at his acomplishment, the annoying yellow van had now turned into a...well a annoying black and red van. Motoko had appeared seconds later to see what the merc was up to.

".....wheres the roof?".

The merc turned with a smile and said "ive always wanted a convertable".

Motoko sighed, a convertable VW van....thats a first. The driver seat was also replaced with a racing bucket, for performance.

"dont worry sweet cheeks...someday our slightly disfunctional family will travel the lands of japan in this fabled sixties hippie van!".

Deadpool whipped a handgun from its holster and was going to fire it off into the ceiling, but Motoko took the inititive and cut the barrell off with her sword.

"NNNNNOOOO!!!! that was my favorite gun!!".

Another crack from Motoko's sheath knocked the sad and upset merc to the ground.

"Damn you DEADPOOL!".

-----------------------------------------------

Deadpool woke up four hours later in his designated room, which was a very dingy closet that Motoko got Keitaro to move him into.

"......i had a dream about kids and sweet cheeks.....i usually want to destroy children....weird".


End file.
